Traitor or Faithful? Which Durham college would win the traitors

It’s that time of year again and no, I’m not talking about the first summative season soon approaching. Better still, I’m sure every Durham student will agree, the UK’s TV favourite Claudia Winkleman is back on our screens again, bringing us a second series of the celebrity traitors. Whilst this year’s lineup has been particularly fun, including stars like Miranda Hart and Joe Lycet, let’s decide which of the Durham colleges would make it to the turret or play the best faithful, earning themselves the winning title.

Hatfield: In the turret by nine, banished by ten

Starting off strong, it’s pretty obvious who our first traitor would be. I think it’s safe to say that Hatfield aren’t beating the traitor allegations. And in true Richard. E Grant style (spoiler alert for those who haven’t made it past the first two episodes), it would be no surprise if they were to be voted off after only a short-lived couple of nights in the turret. Whilst they would be ecstatic at having been allocated a role as traitor, their ego wouldn’t stop them from blatantly announcing their newfound power to the other colleges and ultimately being banished from the game – sorry Hatfield.

Castle: Desperate to be recruited, destined to be disappointed

Naturally, Castle are rejoicing at Hatfield’s rapid demise but only because they wish they were allocated the role of traitor instead. Forced into faithfulness, Castle are waiting for the moment the traitors decide to recruit them. The most oversubscribed of all Durham colleges, they clearly have the potential to win people’s hearts. But this won’t work in their favour in the game – no traitor is recruiting someone so obvious, better luck next time Castle.

Grey: Leading the charge in the wrong direction

As a more loyal faithful, on the other hand, we have Grey. They never wanted to be a traitor in the first place. Reflective of their dominant location on the hill, Grey are capable of leading their fellow players in the quest of hunting down the traitors. However, their votes at the round table aren’t always one hundred percent accurate.

John’s: A brain cell at the round table, finally

That’s where John’s comes in. They’re super smart and able to lead the faithful onto the right path like this year’s mathematical genius, Hannah Fry. Their pure-spirited nature would also bring them bonus points in gaining trust from the other college players.

Van Mildert: All quack, no conviction

Van Mildert would happily play along in this. Whilst their detective skills aren’t quite as sharp, Mildert would be the comedian of the group, delivering (perhaps one too many?) duck jokes and keeping their teammates entertained throughout the experience.

Mary’s: Too lovely to last

Mary’s are your typical loveable faithful – there to support the team and offer moral support when it’s needed. This makes them an easy target for the traitors, however, killing them off sooner than some might hope. Their absence in the group would certainly be one that is felt.

Collingwood: Taking competitive sport to competitive betrayal

Collingwood, again, would be faithful but are likely to be recruited later on in the game. Their agility and competitive nature in the group challenges would win them favour amongst fellow faithfuls but also make them a strong candidate for being onside with the traitors after gaining popularity. Who would have known double-crossing was so easy?

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John Snow: Self-catered, self-sufficient, deeply suspicious

We are yet to decide who would be doing the recruiting, however. After Hatfield’s swift departure, the game would naturally require a more successful traitor candidate. Perhaps less likely to give their game away is John Snow. A popular choice among the self-catered colleges, John Snow would be the perfect traitor. Self-sufficient and appealing to the faithful eye, they would blend in well amongst contestants but still be able to make those difficult decisions in the turret.

Chad’s: Too small to survive the night

They would most definitely decide to wipe out the remaining Bailey colleges though, including Chads. Chads is the baby of the faithfuls cohort, cute and innocent but also an easy target for murder. There’s always one young one in the game, eager to impress their peers (especially Cuth’s as they wish they held as much space in the group).

Ustinov: Older, wiser? Let’s not get carried away

Completing our family tree of faithfuls we have Ustinov. Given its reputation as the exclusively post-grad college, they have got to be the grandparent of the group. They are this year’s Jerry Hall equivalent: nurturing and protective but also a not-so ‘wise old owl,’ often throwing about rogue allegations at obvious faithfuls. Being eldest clearly doesn’t always win you the game.

Aidan’s and South: You can’t fly under the radar if nobody remembers you’re playing

Aidan’s and South are both easy kills for the traitors. As the colleges most frequently forgotten about by Durham students, they would have no suspicion on them whatsoever. They definitely wouldn’t be vocal enough at the round table, boring both the other players and the viewers – snooze you lose, I suppose.

Hild Bede: Keeping their distance, keeping their secrets

Hild Bede would be similarly unbeneficial to the faithful team. Given their college site is the most separated from the other Durham colleges, they would probably be just as reserved in the game, sticking to themselves and refusing to share any of their theories. Playing their cards close to their chest would ultimately be their downfall.

Butler and Stephenson: Holmes and Watson, with one blind spot

Josephine Butler and Stephenson would definitely buddy up and make good faithfuls together. The Holmes and Watson of the group, they would get pretty close to winning the game after sniffing out Collingwood and John Snow. But they are missing out one clever traitor, the Maya Jama-style ringleader.

Trevs: Six sides, two faces, one winner

Controversial, perhaps, but I don’t think you would see them coming: Trevs. They aren’t too boring but small and strange enough to show some character. Let’s be honest – nobody is ranking Trevs as their first-choice college when they apply, but being slightly outlandish might just be their winning trait for a game like the traitors. Just as they hide amongst the other colleges on the hill, Trevs would hide themselves well in the group. They would sneakily win by befriending their fellow traitors and then turning their backs on them at the very end in order to win the money for themselves. Who would have known that having a hexagonal architecture as your only personality trait could actually be a blessing in disguise?

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