We see it come around every year, the Eurovision Song Contest, but does anyone actually know what it’s about. Sure, it’s (mostly) European countries competing to have the best song, but the performances rarely make any sense and always shock and intrigue. So why not explain it as things only Lancaster University students will understand.

People who take up a whole group study space just for themselves

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We’ve all seen it, you’re walking around the library with a group looking for a spot, and then you think you’ve found a free spot only to realise that the room you thought was empty actually has a student in it. Could they have sat in one of the many single seats you passed that were free? Yes.

Fighting for your life on the hill to campus

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Why is it so steep? Whether you’re walking up (especially if you’ve just been working out at the sports centre), or driving a manual with a rubbish biting point, it’s Hell, and if its icy or bad weather, forget it.

Looking at your friends in the smoking area while you’re still queueing for Sugar

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Seeing everyone else already in Sugar and having fun while you’re still in the queue is the worst. Especially when the queue is around the corner and you’re at the point of the night where they stop just letting people in. Maybe everyone who went ahead and got stamps at 11 had the right idea.

The random kids on campus

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Where do they come from? Where do they go? What do they possibly find to do on campus? They are always just hanging around Alex square riding on bikes or scooters. Maybe they have family at the uni, maybe they are here for the Greggs? Either way, I’m not sure its how I’d chose to spend my time.

Winning your Roses game

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When I said things only Lancaster students would understand I meant it, because this is a feeling that York students just won’t get. Roses are red! I’m not actually sure whether what this guy is wearing is actually a sports jersey but it sure looks like one.

The library computers watching me do anything but work in exam season

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What’s the weirdest thing you’ve witnessed someone using the library computers for? Maybe for actual work because you don’t see it often. Sometimes people are just printing (respectable), but sometimes they are playing games, messing with AI, or my personal favourite, just sitting at the computers and not using them. I’m sure nobody else needs them.

The Sugar DJ actually cooking for once

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Its a very rare occasion, in fact, I said things that every Lancs student will understand, but I’m pretty sure that you could get through a whole three year degree without experiencing a good music night in Sugar. Luckily it’s who you’re with rather than the music that makes the night. Usually its just the same few songs that everyone is already sick of on repeat, but when you finally look out with a good Sugar night, it’s a true blessing.

Manifesting a first in your degree

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Does manifestation work? I have no idea, but in exam season anything goes. Maybe a better use of your time would be actually studying, but whatever floats your boat.

The coat you need to stay warm in Lancaster

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Sure, the coat is crazy (and I’m not sure why he is painted silver),  but with the relentless cold weather and rain you’re guaranteed in Lancaster this is precisely the coat you need. Screw the North Face puffers, they have nothing on this coat. Good luck to the rain and cold that wants to get in, because it has absolutely no chance. Perhaps this is the only coat which will actually keep you warm in Lancaster.

Biblically accurate County South lecture theatre

via YouTube

If you’ve ever had the displeasure of having a lecture in County South lecture theatre, you will understand the pain. Why are the desks set out like an exam, hall? Especially when all the desks are pushed out of place to the point where getting to a seat means weaving in and out of jumbled up rows. And if you’re late? You have no chance, all of the seats you can actually get to are already taken, so you either have to awkwardly shimmy past people, or sit right at the front, which no-one wants to do.

Trying to convince your group project to actually participate

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The uni setting group projects as something that comes back as part of a final grade is something I will never understand. Maybe one in first year is excusable, because it doesn’t count, but anything beyond that is crazy. Everyone has a story where they’ve been in a group project where there’s that one person who isn’t pulling their weight.

Showing up to a 9am after a night out

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Whether it’s a Wednesday social or Monday at Gens, showing up for that 9am lecture the next day (maybe in last nights makeup) is its own unique form of torment. All you want to do is stay in bed, but instead you’re forced out into the cold and then stuck in a lecture.

Running for LUSU President dressed as a clown

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Everybody at Lancaster this year will probably remember Usul the clown. Would they have won the LUSU President election if they hadn’t dropped out? Who knows, but it would have been fun to have a clown for President.

Seeing Bossman after a night out

via YouTube

Sometimes this can be the best part of the night, especially in first year when you would get back to campus and head straight to Sultans. Bossman is amazing at always being super welcoming and greeting every customer with a smile. The free bottle of water with your food is an unrivalled miracle that I’m sure everybody is always grateful for.

Featured image via @EurovisionSongContest on YouTube.

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