The Perils of Dating at Bristol University

Growing up, I used to think I’d find ‘the one’ at university, blinded by the romcom dream. In reality, the Bristol university dating scene is filled with Hinge, DJs and confusion. So I delved into every type of relationship I’ve come across at university, speaking to other students and taking my own horror stories to draft an expose of the reality of dating at university.

Hinge

I have a love-hate relationship with Hinge. I find myself, and my friends, constantly saying I’ll delete it and try to find people in real life: spoiler alert- we never do. Hinge is so normalised in university dating culture that I spend most of my time scrolling trying to find people I know; reality hits when I realise they can also see me. One student I spoke to said they “matched with a girl on Hinge, then found out she was dating a girl from their hometown”- an affair a little too close to home. Hinge feels like playing a game rather than seeing real people, in fact last week I saw a profile based entirely on the rat Remy from Ratatouille. Whilst it may be my favourite animated film, I don’t see a future with the cartoon rat.

Hinge also promotes a short-term hookup culture, rather than the long-term dating scene. Most bios say that they’re “figuring out their dating goals” meaning in real terms, they’re looking for a casual hookup. Often, you’ll find yourself texting back and forth with someone for a few days, after which they’ll stop responding or you’ll get the ick and stop texting instead of going on a real date. Using Hinge may be effective for the short term, but if you’re looking for something real and meaningful at university there’s a strong possibility you won’t find them on Hinge.

Clubbing

Somewhere you do meet people in real life is the clubs. Although, often this is not much better than Hinge. Whilst you are gaining that real life interaction, it’s safe to say anyone you’re meeting in a club is looking more for a short-term fling than a long-term relationship. Now, for some people this may be different, but for me and my friends the people we meet in clubs are out for one thing: and its definitely not love. In fact, one of my friends met a guy in a club who proceeded to tell her he loves her and send her his full address to “prove it”- a tactic of love-bombing that seems quite extreme for a hookup. I mean I met my ex-boyfriend in a nightclub, and its safe to say that relationship ended for a reason, and I strongly feel the blueprints of our meeting was no help either.

Situationships

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The situationship is truly the mostly dreaded experience to find yourself in, but we’ve all been there. You could spend months having a back-and-forth relationship with someone with, what you believed to be, real feelings for you to wake up one day and they’ve blocked you. The situationship is not for the faint hearted, one of my friends had the worst experience I’ve heard, with her ex-situationship ghosting her three days after she lost her grandad: I mean where are we finding these men?! To anybody currently finding themselves in a situationship, I am so sorry- you are a true fighter.

Long Distance

Speaking of fighters, we can’t forget about the warriors in long-distance relationships. Whilst they may not be experiencing the horrors of dating whilst at university, they experience a whole new set of challenges. One student said long distance is “literally the equivalent to consensually getting shot in the foot”, which truthfully doesn’t sound like a fun experience either.

Meeting people in real life

Ahhh the joy of  stumbling into people in the wild. Whilst this may have worked for our parents, I think it’s clear that in the age of doomscrolling this is a much rarer experience when dating at university, but never say never. Whether your Hinge date does actually pull through, or you meet someone on the street who has the confidence to approach you, meeting people in real life does come with even greater flaws. My favourite dating story I received when researching for this article was a friend who met a guy in real life and whilst on a date at Steam, they engaged in a political discussion (as we all do when the alcohol hits). However, this did not go as planned, with the date pulling out a political party membership card, one which they did not agree on, with his name and face on, that was just sitting in his wallet: a true conversation halter when it comes to getting to know each other’s views. What’s even funnier about this story is that this wasn’t even their last date, the pair went on three more before it fizzled out: showing you how weak the dating pool is.

So, I think it’s safe to say dating at university is no walk in the park. However, if there’s one thing we all have in common it’s our horror stories. Maybe use these horror stories to bond with your friends rather than risk the horror that is the dating scene at Bristol University or use it as your next first date anecdote. Either way, good luck out there people and if you do end up living my dream romcom life and finding the love of your life please let me know!