Here are eight things you swore you’d do at Exeter Uni, but actually never did

It’s that time of year when we all reflect on our Exeter bucket list of things to do before graduating and for some, there are only a few weeks left.

When you first arrived at Exeter, you probably had a checklist of things to do as well as things to definitely not do, but did you tick any off? From failing to explore the cute seaside towns surrounding Exeter to committing flatcest, there are many faux pas.

Here are eight things you said you’d do at Exeter… and absolutely didn’t. But don’t worry — neither did we.

1. Kidnap Napoleon

Whether outside on Forum Hill sunbathing, or napping in the Career Zone, Napoleon has everyone on campus wrapped around his paw. A cat so ingrained into university life surely needs to experience uni accommodation too. Alas, no amount of pspsps will get him to follow you away from Forum Hill right up to your door.

2. Attend every 8:30 lecture

The dreaded 8:30am lecture. They should truly be extinct by now. Remember how naïve you were in term one for thinking that you would attend them all?

3. Figure out how to use the printers

You’ve managed to get accepted into the university, so working the printer should be easy, right? Wrong. Over the years, you will begin to question if they change the printing system each term just to mess with you.

4. Meet the love of your life

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As freshers, we all heard the story that if you marry someone who also studied at Exeter, you can have the reception at Reed Hall at a discounted price. Perhaps it was just a rumour, but the idea seemed cute. I’d say don’t lose hope, but I doubt Hinge will work wonders in the next two months. You might never get a picture outside Reed Hall in a wedding dress… but at least you can get one in your graduation dress.

5. Never step foot inside Vaults

A night out that comes back to haunt you in many ways, usually a nasty hangover and a purple bruise from falling down the stairs. The Exeter nightlife scene is dire enough; do you really need to add Vaults to the equation? You may have vowed never to step foot inside, but it’s sadly a rite of passage. Either way, it’s usually a night you want to forget.

6. Find a space at the library during exam season

Perhaps it’s a good thing that you’re more likely to pass your exam than you are to find a seat in the library to actually study for it. It’s every man for himself this exam season. Be sure to bring snacks because if you somehow manage to find a seat, you’re not seeing it ever again if you dare to take a lunch break.

7. Not get scammed on Overheard

You know your TP addiction is bad when you get scammed out of £15 for a £2.80 ticket. You’d think that the days of being scammed were behind us after they stopped accepting screenshots, but that just means there are more creative ways to lose your student loan to some economics student who makes a living selling five tickets a week.

8. Lock in for that essay

Too locked in to FOMO to care. I could write a 2,000 word essay on a Wednesday, but I’d much rather get two venoms and thousands of pictures in the TP toilet mirror. Who needs a first when you can be the first on the dance floor?