The ultimate cheesy chip showdown: Ranking Fallowfield’s best spots for late night cravings

I will always choose a cheesy chip over a regular one. Something about the contrast in textures, the warmth and the nostalgia, fills and satisfies me far more than a plain one ever could. For that reason, I’ve decided to review some of Manchester’s finest, in reverse order (it goes without saying that every single one of these tastes better when under the influence of alcohol.)

I will be rating the following three criteria in order to declare a winner of the best cheesy chip:
– Actual chip quality
– Cheese texture and distribution
– That special something

5. Dragon Burger Box, £2.80

Now that I’m in third year, it’s only right I review a couple Withington spots. I first tried the cheesy chips from Dragon Burger Box a few weeks ago and didn’t know what to expect – I felt like I was betraying my Fallowfield roots.

As a diehard garlic mayo fan, I appreciated the generous amount they added, but the cheese was nowhere to be found under all that sauce. It didn’t help that there wasn’t much cheese to begin with. The chips themselves, however, were excellent.

While it’s a cheaper cheesy chip, the portion size is considerably smaller than all of the other places so I’m not sure it’s even worth saving the extra pennies.

Chip quality: 8/10
Cheese: 6.5/10
Special something: 7.5/10

TOTAL = 22/30

4 – Allen’s, £3.00

Now, this may be an unpopular opinion, but Allen’s takes the prize for the best actual chips. They’re the perfect thickness, always hot, and neither too crispy nor undercooked. But does it win the prize for best cheesy chips? That’s still up for debate.

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The issue with Allens is that it lacks the special something. Its sauces are packeted, which means you miss that truly satisfying drizzle of ketchup or garlic mayo which, personally, I like to drown my chips in. Having said that, I will be awarding bonus points for the oddly satisfying bright red fork stuck into the polystyrene chip box.

There have also been times where the cheese meltage on an Allens chip is sub-par. The picture above might not support this statement, since the cheese is perfectly melted and distributed over all the chips. But I think we can all agree that, when it comes to cheesy chips, there’s nothing worse than when it looks like someone has just sprinkled on a handful of cold, unmelted cheddar.

Chip quality: 9.5/10
Cheese: 7/10
Special something: 6/10

TOTAL = 22.5/30

3 – Abdul’s, £2.90

When I first discovered Abdul’s towards the beginning of last year I immediately declared it my new favourite chip spot. I’m sure this had absolutely nothing to do with the fact I had just consumed far too many drinks in 256. The discovery came at a time where, dare I say it, I was growing bored of the occasionally plain Allen’s. Enter garlic mayo…

When I was asked the question of what sauce I wanted on my chips (for free!) I was overwhelmed. Never had I been asked this question before. So I chose garlic mayo and ketchup and, let me tell you, this was one of the best decisions I have made.

Abdul’s remained my favourite for a long time. However, I once made the poor decision of sampling a portion sober, to find a few chips cold in the middle. Since then I have been more cautious around an Abdul’s chip, but I will forever appreciate its commitment to sauce.

Chip quality: 6.5/10
Cheese: 8/10
Special something: 9/10

TOTAL = 23.5/30

2 – Finger Lickin’ Chicken, £2.50

I strumbled across this Withington spot very recently, spontaneously after a night out, and let me tell you – I was very impressed.

Not only was it the cheapest of the five, at a stunning £2.50, but it also gave me peri salt and garlic mayo! I believe this is the only place that offers both, which is why I have crowned it the runner up in the chip competition.

While the cheese distribution could use some improvement, the chip quality and generous amount of sauce more than made up for it.

Chip quality: 8/10
Cheese: 7.5/10
Special something: 9.5/10

TOTAL = 25/30

WINNER – Chesters, £3.00

I will always have a soft spot for Chesters, partly due to the fact it was the first ever cheesy chip shop I visited in Manchester. The quality of a Chesters chip is good, but there have been times where I think they are too crispy. Some people may think this impossible, but I do think there is such a thing as an overly crispy chip. To avoid this, I recommend spending the extra money on the Chester’s curly fries which are unbeatable.

How about the cheese? Chesters wins every time – always perfectly melted and distributed.

But what truly makes Chesters our winner is the peri salt. Words cannot describe the feeling when I first tasted it: It is the special something to top all special somethings. I have tried and failed to re-create their recipe myself, leaving me wondering what is in the salt to make it taste quite so delicious.

Chip quality: 8/10
Cheese: 8.5/10
Special something: 10/10

TOTAL = 26.5/30

Conclusion

So, there you have it – the ultimate ranking of Manchester’s cheesy chips. Whether you agree or not, hopefully you now know where you’ll be headed after your next night out.

Other stories recommended by this writer:

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• Freshers’ Week in Manchester: Reflections from a first and second year