Just 51 things you categorically must not do during Freshers’ Week if you want to survive

It’s Freshers’ Week. The time of back to back nights out, terrible hangovers and terrible decisions. Beginning university can be a scary time as you are away from your hometown, away from your friends and away from your family. But, uni can bring you a lot of new opportunities, new experiences and A LOT of new life lessons you’ll learn pretty quickly.

You have definitely got hundreds of questions and have exhausted every fresher Facebook group there is with your never-ending worries. So, to lessen your nerves, here’s a definitive list of all biggest Freshers’ Week don’ts, including everything you should NOT do when you get to uni. Save yourself the embarrassment.

1. Do NOT buy a Freshers’ wristband

The one thing about Freshers’ Week is that clubs will try to SCAM freshers as much as possible. They hype out these massive “big nights out”, but the so called “big night out” is just some neon sticks and terrible remixes of Love Story with Timber. Don’t fall for this trap.

2. Don’t fall in love with your flatmate

Flatcest is not cute. It makes your flatmates uncomfortable and will probably end on bad terms by the end of Freshers’ Week.

3. Try to reinvent yourself

Girl, put the red box dye DOWN. It’s day two of Freshers’, you don’t need to try a new look.

4. Don’t drink on an empty stomach

It won’t “get you drunk quicker” it will get you sick, paralytic and an absolute state quicker. It will get you kicked out the club quicker.

5. Don’t tell your flatmates all your secrets immediately

You only just met these people, chill out.

6. Don’t be too awkward and introverted

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Sorry to all introverts, but you got to at least TRY and talk to new people.

7. Don’t pack the whole house and the kitchen sink

You really don’t need a family pack of mugs, cutlery and pans. You will soon realise how you will only use the same mug, the same pot and the same fork just to “save up on washing”.

8. Don’t walk home on your own

Especially when you’re in a new city, be sure to always have someone with you on the walk back after a night out.

9. Don’t buy a new pencil case

You will only use your laptop and a dream.

10. Don’t become a club rep/promoter

Maybe one of the biggest Freshers’ Week don’ts – this is the quickest way to look like an absolute knob.

11. Don’t make clubbing your whole personality

It’s not a good look, it just makes you annoying ngl.

12. Don’t drink your whole bodyweight in vodka

You don’t need to be so blackout that you are 98 per cent Chekov, just chill and drink at your own pace.

13. Don’t become someone’s uni wife/husband

By this I mean, do NOT become someone else’s parents by doing their cooking, cleaning and washing.

14. Don’t fall out with your flatmates in Freshers’ Week

Trust me, it will make the rest of first year extremely awkward.

15. Don’t limit yourself to one friend at uni

You might fall out and you got to get to know people.

16. Don’t buy all of the courses textbooks

You are very likely to get them all for free online.

17. Don’t only wear uni sports stash

We GET IT. You play lacrosse. Your spag bol stained fleece tells us that.

18. Don’t be a snob

Don’t be that guy who can only eat/drink branded products, everyone will find you so annoying.

19. Don’t join every. Single. Society.

First of all, they can be expensive for membership and second of all, you probably won’t end up going to half of them.

20. Don’t be so tight with your money

It’s good to be financially responsible but you don’t need to be saving every penny. Live a little.

21. Don’t brag about being a top shagger

Instead, check into the STI clinic xx

22. Don’t wear sunglasses on every night out

You don’t look cool, you look like one of the blind mice from Shrek.

23. Don’t go home every weekend

You got to learn independence at some point.

24. Don’t miss every night out to make it to your freshers’ week lectures

Come on now, you are only a fresher once. The lectures are not compulsory.

25. Don’t bang on about going to a private school

Breaking news: No one cares!

26. Don’t decide your second year housemates in the first few weeks of term

Although you may feel the need to have a second year house set in stone by the 1st October, you don’t really know these people. You will probably fall out with them, and it will be extremely awks next year.

27. Don’t be rude/off with your coursemates

Because when you need them during essay deadlines, they will leave you to it.

28. Don’t spend all your money on takeaways

This is almost too obvious to be on this list of biggest Freshers’ Week don’ts but some of you need to learn. It adds up REAL quick.

29. Don’t film every minute of every night out

You will definitely regret it in the morning and will probably end up with 20 less friends as they have blocked you.

30. Don’t cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend from home

Just break up.

31. Don’t judge someone for their course

You’re probably jealous of them because you chose an extremely hard course.

32. Don’t bring your car

Especially in first year, everyone will BEG you for lifts and will never pay you back for petrol.

33. Don’t hire out a VIP booth and buy a bottle of Grey Goose at the club

It doesn’t look cool, it looks embarrassing.

34. Don’t pretend you’re a hardcore drug taker

Again, very embarrassing and puts yourself in a very dangerous situation.

35. Don’t go to the same uni as your boyfriend/girlfriend

Be your own person. Also, it could end VERY badly and they will end up cheating on you.

36. Don’t kiss every person you meet on a night out

You’ll end up with mono.

37. Don’t try and put on your uni accent

Stop saying “rahhh” at the end of every sentence. You’re from the Midlands.

38. Don’t leave your dirty dishes everywhere

Please just pick up the Scrub Daddy and do it yourself.

39. Don’t try and be the next Gordon Ramsay

You are most likely going to annoy your other flatmates by hogging the kitchen for two hours and using every pot known to man just to make some average pesto pasta.

40. Don’t offer to buy people drinks and then ask for the money back the next day

Not a good look texting “transfer me £8.50 for that vodka coke”.

41. Don’t be that person who only talks about university work

I don’t want to hear about how much work I got to do on this course, especially when its pres and I’m already four drinks deep.

42. Don’t keep asking the DJs for requests

Of course they’re not going to play that one niche, reverb remix you found on YouTube.

43. Don’t steal every traffic cone you see

You will get in trouble and plus, it gets a bit weird.

44. Don’t give every person you meet on a night out your socials

You’ll never talk to them again and will spend AGES deleting these people.

45. Don’t be petty about doing your bit around the flat

Don’t become that person who refuses to take out the bins because you did it three weeks ago.

46. Equally, don’t be the person who does ALL the chores

Opposite to point 45 and one ov the biggest Freshers’ Week don’ts – don’t become the cleaner for the flat. Otherwise, you’ll be cleaning up after everyone all year long.

47. Don’t lock yourself away in your room all the time

Uni can be scary, but you’re making it worse by isolating yourself and not making an effort with people.

48. Don’t constantly ask the club photographer for a photo every night out

Chances are, you don’t look as good as you think you do.

49. Don’t keep hosting afters

Your flatmates and people in your accom will HATE you.

50. Don’t take all the Freshers’ Fair freebies

You’re not going to use those student union mugs. Also, if you’re in second year or above… Just go home. Put the free tote bag DOWN.

51. Don’t rep uni merch on campus

Just go buy another hoodie.

For more like this list of Freshers’ Week don’ts and all the latest news and drama and drops, quizzes and memes, like The Tab on Facebook. 

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