Flatcest and the clap: We asked students their worst ex confessions and they’re wild

The Netflix show, Worst Ex Ever, wins the award for having the worst exes known to man. But, it really got me thinking about all the crazy exes which me and my friends we were glad to see the back of. Unsurprisingly, most of the insanity kicked off at uni, where you’re thrown into independence with thousands of other people your age, all ready to make the most out of their best partying years. It’s basically a canon event to have a terrible uni ex that you’d rather move across the world to get away from than be in a room with. So, here are some of the wildest confessions from students about their worst ex ever – I really hope some of these are over-exaggerated for all of our sakes.

The two-timing solution

“My ex-boyfriend was seeing someone else at the same time as me and we found out about each other when he’d come to either of our houses and we’d see each other on his phone. We messaged each other and told him we both knew. To apologise, he put as both in a group chat and said ‘I think this is the easiest way to do this.'”

Rest in peace

“Confessed to loving me, then died.”

‘Why are you so sad about it again’

“My mum died years before I met him and usually I was fine within the grief process. However one summer I really struggled with the grief to which he said ‘but why are you so sad about it again all of a sudden.'”

Keep your blinds shut next time babes

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“I started dating my friend and flatmate in my first year of uni. I thought she was gay as she’d had girlfriends before but one day as I was leaving the flat I walked past our other flatmate’s window and saw her and him snuggled up together in bed! Long story short, it turned out she’d been dating both of us but neither of us knew about the other! Him and I are now friends and she just turned out to be an awful person!”

Don’t take drugs kids

“Started seeing a guy. We were going to a uni ball together and for some reason, he chose that night to mix drugs and alcohol for the first time in his life. We didn’t even get into the ball because he ended up throwing up on my new shoes I’d brought especially for the ball! This same guy also wouldn’t hang out with my friendship group because he said he ‘knew what they were like’ and ‘couldn’t have intellectual conversations with them’. My friends are better than him so bye-bye.”

He lied about his age

“Met this guy at the start of the year and we had a great night together. He told me he was 21 (my age). I then found out he’d lied about his age and was actually 18. To top it all off, he also gave me chlamydia and gonorrhoea. Don’t trust men at uni girls!”

It’s time to stock up on free STI tests from Boots because men ain’t worth it

“We were on and off for a year and I was willing to give it another go so I went to see him. He gave me chlamydia which turned into pelvic inflammatory disease. I was in agony, it took weeks to clear up and I already have fertility problems so I’m now facing the possibility that I have an even smaller chance of having children because of this.”

Men are fighting demons and it’s always flatcest

“Led me to believe it’d lead to a relationship… then he dumped me out of the blue to commit flatcest.”

Exeter girlies, BE WARNED

“My ex-boyfriend and I met in Freshers’ Week in the Imperial Wetherspoons and he cheated on his girlfriend at the time to be with me. That should have been the biggest red flag about him. However, I later found out that he had a tendency to pass out drunk and pee himself during his sleep. I woke up one night at around 4am wondering what the noise of trickling water was that I could hear and looked over to see an actual STREAM of pee arching over my freshly washed bedding.”

Pretty in polaroids

“I started getting a little bit attached to my casual hookup and wanted to give him something to remember me by before I left uni forever. I gave him a sexy polaroid of me in lingerie, but later on in the night I saw HUNDREDS of photos that he’d taken doing the deed with so many different women. I know I shouldn’t have cared but it was an absolute dagger. I felt like my polaroid was nothing compared with the literal porn he had in his camera roll.”

Love beyond borders

“Hooked up with this guy once or twice, he then decided that we were in a committed relationship, then flew to a different country mid term and told his whole family that we were in a relationship then when he came back he wanted a full confrontation about why I didn’t want to be with him.”

At least he was honest

“Was with my college ex for almost my entire uni experience. At the end of second year he came back from a lads holiday saying that he ‘wanted to cheat on me but didn’t.’ I guess I should be grateful for that?!”

Instagram highlights are a dangerous game

“I removed my ex from all social media after a quite toxic and manipulative relationship, but to this day he still stalks my friends’ Instagram highlights to try and see what I’m doing. (We ended over a year ago and he’s in a new long term relationship).”

I think I’m going to throw up

“One of my ex boyfriends would NEVER brush his teeth (not even floss?!) and used to do skidders during the day at work in his boxers and leave them on the floor in our bathroom for me to wash for him. After we broke up he got an 18 year old he used to work with pregnant – he’s 23.”

‘I don’t even know how that got there’

“An ex-situationship turned up to my house to meet my parents with a massive hickey on his neck. Safe to say that was the last time I saw him…”

Casual gate

“Was friends with a guy in our friendship group, but one night he started kissing me A LOT in the club. I didn’t think much of it because he had a situationship (who was THERE that night) but the next morning he was flirting with me like crazy. He then told me he’d cut things off with the girl and wanted to see me instead. On nights out, he was insanely jealous and possessive and would follow me around all night. Halloween came around and I invited him to our house party, but he said he wasn’t coming and got really defensive. I straight up asked him if he was seeing the girl from his previous situationship and he said yes. We were arguing and he said: ‘She’s more serious, whereas you’re more the casual type.’ Words cannot even contain my anger.

“A few days later at a friend’s birthday, I was talking to someone else and he got insanely jealous over it. He said that the other girl, now his girlfriend, was ‘not fit’ and he didn’t know why he was with her. He then stayed over at mine.

“He would message me constantly saying how much he thinks about me but would then say he was just drunk and didn’t mean it. He then hard launched his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day in the new year and on a night out his new girlfriend and all her friends started kicking me at the club and pouring drinks all over me. He definitely told his new girlfriend a different story.”

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