Alcuin: We’re not boring, honest

You wish you had our cute lil rabbits

The horrendously awkward chat that every York fresher has while standing outside their seminar room almost always involves the question: “So, what college are you in?”

And now being a self-confessed veteran of this small talk, I have identified the general feelings towards each college. The response to Halifax (or anything on Hes East) usually involves a groan about how far away it is and Derwent is usually met with a look of disgust, whilst Alcuin is seems to issue a reply along the lines of “Oh, that’s the quiet one isn’t it?”

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being quiet, and here in the loving embrace of Alcuin we respect that. But, just because we live behind the library doesn’t mean we spend our lives with our heads buried in between the books.

We know how to have fun too, and there are a few other reasons why Alcuin is much better than you think.

To start with, our accommodation buildings aren’t one of the depressing fifty shades of grey that make up most of the campus. Instead, they are a glorious beige, or should I say BAEge (sorry). But seriously, every time I have to trudge off to Hendrix Hall I like to take a moment to bask in the radiant glow of the golden bricks of Alcuin.

Beige is the new black

And just in case I think I’ve woken up in a different uni, the pebble-dash grey of the porters lodge brings me firmly back down to earth and affirms that I am, in fact, still at UoY.

Thanks porters

And despite our reputation as shy and retiring, we’re no strangers to drama: Alcuin has been known in the recent past for its promiscuous antics. I won’t go into the details, but I’m sure people are aware.

Q block? more like screw block – apparently.

Our JCR committee is pretty cool too. I mean anybody that comes up with colourfAL as an event title has got to be pretty rad, right? Almost as rad as someone that actually uses rad as an adjective.

Then we have the fact that rabbits are better than ducks. Simple. They’re small, fluffy, cute.

Unlike the armada of ducks that terrorise the UoY student body and defecate all over the path, the Alcuin wildlife appears just often enough for you to go “Aww, that’s cute” – but then you can move on with your life.

The wild fowl might appear cute at first but in reality, as all UoY students know, they are vicious killers. So, at Alcuin, we don’t have to fear for our lives every time we pop out to Nisa.

Our Yik Yak game is also on point. I know a guy that got over 10,000 Yakarma in less than a month. He’s currently failing his degree, but that’s besides the point. His top quality banter is pretty much equivalent to a 2:1 anyway. As a side note, I think it’s a crying shame that “bare Yakarma” isn’t an acceptable qualification to put on a CV.

Alcuin pride

And then the myth that Acuinites don’t know how to party is a complete myth. We throw shapes in Kuda with the best of them.

This is the actuAL aftermath of an actuAL ALcuin party, OK, maybe it was just the wind, but we know how to have fun ALright

So with this insight in mind, please think again when I tell you I live in Alcuin while we’re waiting for our seminar. From now on I’m expecting, “Oh, that’s the cool one isn’t it?” because now you all know it’s true.