How to fit in at Blackbox

A beginner’s guide to the edgiest night in York

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For those of you who aren’t already familiar, Blackbox is the Mecca of York’s hipster scene (if you can claim there is one).

There’s no room for AllSaints-wearing rugby boys here, and if you mention Willow it had better be in an ironic way.

So if you’re channelling more Edgy Girl Leeds than Dapper Laughs, this is the perfect night for you to join sweaty hands with some fellow free spirits.

Pure, unadulterated vibes

But before you hit the ball Cinderella, you’ll need to make sure you have the Blackbox starter kit:

  1. The obligatory faded sports jumper for your outerwear, extra dusty
  2. Adidas superstar trainers (suede only please)
  3. A fat pack of Kleenex to mop up every perspiring crevice on your body
  4. Loads of gum – you’ll want this in case your jaw unexpectedly locks out from all the fun you’re having
  5. An “in” with the DJ so you can casually bypass the queue in front of all the irrelevant punters

Get that sorted and you’re already most of the way there. What remains when you get inside is actually fairly simple from there on out…

That moment when you realise no-one will ever understand you like a DJ does

For one thing, there’s no need to worry about conversation. It might be a social event, but ignoring everyone around you on the dancefloor is a guaranteed ticket to acceptance among the Blackbox elite.

Just create an imaginary forcefield in which nothing can be heard but those delectable dance beats.

He knows

Then for maximum effect, simply roll your eyes to the back of your head (biting your lip if possible)  and stare longingly at the DJ like you’re trying to read his soul.

At some point you might notice that people don’t quite look their normal selves at Blackbox.

But fret not- that’s just what happens to your face after too many filthy bassline drops.

Inevitably a newbie will try to drag you out to the smoking area after a while because they can’t stand the heat in that humid, black, box.

Do NOT be tempted. Missing the nostalgic garage set is a serious no-no.

Oh… and if you don’t have an after party to be at until 6am, don’t even bother showing your face.