How to survive a York bar crawl
Leave your love for ale at home
It’s Freshers’ again and your inbox is getting spammed with invitations to School Uniform Discos and Paint parties.
Amongst these invitations there will be no doubt be a bar crawl that Gemma from your floor will be dragging you to and you need to know a few things if this is your first time.
Don’t be stingey
Whether it’s an official shirt, a golfing posse or even a smurf bar-crawl, it’s only gonna set you back about £10, don’t be one of those people wandering around in just a white top, nothing golf related at all or just a plain blue shirt . You remind everyone of that kid in Primary School that had the knitted school jumper and Adidas shorts instead of the ones with the school logo. Don’t be a skinflint.
Customisation and personalisation is key. Eveyone will remember the group that has gone to the effort of actually painting themselves blue. Go the extra mile. Write totally mature nicknames on the back of you and your mates shirts, buy a plastic golf club, get your group organised enough to each be one of the smurfs.
This sounds like a stupid idea with the fact that you are about to hop between different pubs and bars but with it being an official, organised event. They have time to hike the prices up and squeeze as much of your Loan from you as possible. Create a Facebook Message, get a spotify playlist sorted, rally most of your mates and get a crate or two of Foster’s for whatever drinking games you fail to remember all the rules for and have a cheaper night than those early birds already at the first venue.
We all know that one friend that thinks they can handle their spiritx and by bar two they are singing Grease Lightning at the top of their lungs with Blue VK dribbled down their top and mud all over their best Levi’s.
Don’t ruin your flatmates night by making them waddle your gurgling carcass home, know your limits and buy some cheesy chips if you are a bit worse for wear.
Choice your drink carefully
There is every choice of booze available on this planet. You are, if you aren’t a lightweight, going to be drinking at minimum, 5 drinks tonight. Pick wisely. Leave your Old Ale appreciation at home and pick up a JD and Coke or WKD if you are a classy bird.
Beer’s are gonna bloat you and wine is gonna have you on the floor by the 3rd glass. Think “Baby got back” and for tonight, be Sir Mix-a-lot.
I’m not actually condoning adultery. Calm down.
Most pub crawls give you a mark or stamp at each pub to “prove” you’ve been there. Most of these places will not have gone to great expense and will most probably be using a Sharpie. Grab one and stick it in your pocket just incase you want to ditch one of the more dingier venues for a cheaper one or even just to run to the nearest kebab van.
Sharpies are also ace for writing witty remarks on people’s top’s. Suddenly you’ll never not be surrounded in people wanting whiskers or other appendages scribbled on.
Basically, don’t be basic.