I tried a bunch of beer ‘beauty treatments’
They made me smell like a pub carpet
The internet is stacked full of bogus home beauty treatments telling you how household items will clear your acne, smooth your skin and make every part of you glow like a woman expecting.
Beer is one of the most popular products that, when combined with simple store-cupboard items, will apparently make you all that more beautiful. I thought I’d put these so-called ‘treatments’ to the test, to see if beer really is the key to beauty.
1/2 tsp beer
1 egg white
1 drop almond extract
Promises to tighten skin, minimise pores and prevent acne.
After whisking together this weird concoction, it turned out to be a frothy yellow substance that reeked of sweetened alcohol breath. Needless to say, I wasn’t all that excited to smother my face in it, and it was exactly as grim as I had imagined.
It made my face feel really sticky, and as it dried my skin felt like it was being stretched. After I’d rinsed it off, my face was itchy and dry, but ten minutes later it did feel really soft.
Beer Bubble Bath
1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 cup of beer
After soaking in a bath mixed with this, it’ll supposedly make your skin smooth and soft.
Although the prospect of lounging in a bathtub full of beer and olive oil may seem pleasant for some, it was a pretty abysmal experience.
The oil coated every patch of skin submerged, and the smell of beer lingered way too much for me to bear. Immediately showered afterwards, but the oil did make my skin feel soft. Go figure.
1 cup warm beer
1 tsp moroccan argan oil
This after-shampoo treatment is supposed to make hair glow and feel healthy.
Luckily I actually owned some argan oil, but mixing it with the beer was painful to do. Although it wasn’t as bad as pouring the concoction on my head – warm beer is bad enough in your mouth, let alone all over your hair and face.
The instructions said to leave it for 5 minutes, and then to rinse, but I felt like I needed a whole other shower afterwards. The results were the same as if I had used a normal conditioner, except I stank of a brewery afterwards. Not recommended.
1 tsp beer
Claiming to “fight off free radicals”, generate new skin cells and give glowing skin, this seemed a pretty tame treatment compared to the others.
I was wrong. It was grim, and I looked like a scene out of Carrie. The only thing it didn’t stick to was my face, and it smelled of a daquiri gone wrong. At least it made me smell a bit fruity.
So there you have it – beer beauty treatments are a load of bull. The only way beer will make you more attractive is if the other person has been drinking it.