Fresher braves campus lake for a Courtyard pitcher

Yesterday, YUSU Bars unveiled the titanic commitment of one student to his drinking habits with the attempted theft of one of their pitchers.

Admit it, you’ve thought about doing it too, but only the brave and bold could possibly go as far as this man.

Nathan Cordey and Dylan Ronan attempted this audacious task but were caught red handed trying to make a cheeky getaway.

Scene of the crime

Both Nathan and Dylan were apprehended by Courtyard staff after making a quick break from the bar with their pitchers in hand on Tuesday night. Admitting defeat, one guy handed his over however the other had another idea in mind, choosing to flee a dramatic hot pursuit in the style of Point Break.

After a brief escape through the bleak corridors of Derwent akin to a rooftop chase in the slums of Rio de Janeiro, it was thought to all be over once the culprit tripped down a flight of stairs and spilled his precious alcohol all over himself. But having gone so far it would be a waste to give up now, so he decided the empty pitcher was still worth the shame.

After a brief tangle with a bush the thief found himself taking to water in desperation, fully submerging himself in the rancid waters of the campus lake, notorious for its brown goose shit tinge.

Credit YUSU Bars: Nathan (centre) and Dylan (right).

Staff were awed at the events which unfolded and instead of punishing the guy, they have rewarded him for his efforts with two pitchers on the house. Whether he gets to keep them afterwards is unlikely.

Free drinks for the thief

When asked about his antics, Nathan said:

When asked about the lake, Nathan said:

“Honestly, I just remember climbing out of it and looking back to check I was still ahead.”

Priorities.

You can’t help but have some respect for him as his efforts were definitely applaudable, showing the level of commitment that wins Olympic medals.

But please bear in mind this poor lad’s health, chances are he caught something nasty when he went paddling with the campus water fowl.

Hope the free pitchers were worth the potential tetanus.