Warwick’s Maddest Fresher nominee: Brandon Smith-Jones
He’s known as “the guy who watches chicken porn”
Brandon Smith-Jones, the Engineering fresher from Rootes with a fetish for watching chicken porn…
Not quite, but he did announce to his flat that he saw a chicken getting fucked on Facebook. So he is now more commonly known as 'the guy who watches chicken porn'.
But this isn't the main reason for his nominee. Brandon embarked on a two hour walk back from Kasbah, (it's in Cov for those that didn't know) to campus.
He would have walked all the way back if it weren't for a milkman offering him a lift on his float. He spent the final part of the journey sharing a pint at 4am, before attending a lecture at 10am.
The tale does not stop there however. The lecture turned out to be the wrong one – taking Brandon just 25 minutes to work out. Too embarrassed to leave, he faked a phone call.
Brandon told The Tab that it was an honour to be nominated.
He said: "I want to thank my mum and my dead cat. I think I should be voted maddest fresher cos I didn't spend the last 3 weeks snorting salt, squirting lemon in my eye, walking for 2 1/2 hours home and get wasted (and more) for no reason. Did it to be the dumbass, stupid enough to do it."
Voting for Warwick's Maddest Fresher 2017 will open soon.