Warwick’s Maddest Fresher nominee: Brandon Smith-Jones

He’s known as “the guy who watches chicken porn”


Brandon Smith-Jones, the Engineering fresher from Rootes with a fetish for watching chicken porn…

Not quite, but he did announce to his flat that he saw a chicken getting fucked on Facebook. So he is now more commonly known as 'the guy who watches chicken porn'.

Is this what a legend looks like?

But this isn't the main reason for his nominee. Brandon embarked on a two hour walk back from Kasbah, (it's in Cov for those that didn't know) to campus.

He would have walked all the way back if it weren't for a milkman offering him a lift on his float. He spent the final part of the journey sharing a pint at 4am, before attending a lecture at 10am.

The tale does not stop there however. The lecture turned out to be the wrong one – taking Brandon just 25 minutes to work out. Too embarrassed to leave, he faked a phone call.

A well earned nap after a 2 hour trek

Brandon told The Tab that it was an honour to be nominated.

He said: "I want to thank my mum and my dead cat. I think I should be voted maddest fresher cos I didn't spend the last 3 weeks snorting salt, squirting lemon in my eye, walking for 2 1/2 hours home and get wasted (and more) for no reason. Did it to be the dumbass, stupid enough to do it."

Voting for Warwick's Maddest Fresher 2017 will open soon.