Being called ‘mentally unstable’ and everything else vegetarians don’t want to hear

Leaf us alone

Eugh, vegetarians. The absolute worst, am I right?They sit there, and don’t eat meat. Fucking gross. They’re always harping on about animals, the environment, or something equally as shit. They’re also probably mentally unstable.

Except, we’re actually not. PSA: Vegetarians are normal, regular human beings, so stop asking/telling us weird shit.

“How do you get your protein?”

That’s right! Protein is a food group- you little genius. For some reason, every strong meat-eater’s concern is always for the poor, helpless, protein deficient vegetarian.

It’s admirable really: you all seem to know so much about protein. No, honestly. The way you recite your daily protein intake (in grams, no less) really doesn’t get boring at all.

FYI: Protein isn’t exclusive to meat. Vegetarians are fine. We’re good.

“Do you eat fish?”

No. Considering fish is still a living being, the obvious answer is no, my friend. No.

Look up pescatarians. Please.

“We were made to be carnivores, you know”

I really don’t need a lesson on biology, evolution, and how our canines mean that eating meat is in our DNA. I’m also not a fan of being told that I’m a massive disgrace to humanity, just because I won’t have some Nandos Peri-Peri chicken. If I don’t want to eat meat, I won’t. It’s really that simple.

Also, stop pretending to be all sciency – that GCSE in Science and Additional Science doesn’t make your case any stronger.

“Vegetarianism is just like, a phase or something”

You’re so right! I’ve only been a vegetarian my whole life because it currently goes really well with my Instagram aesthetic! When they release some new filters I’ll probably eat steak.

“You’re a veggie? I literally LOVE meat”

That was really insightful information. Life-changing. No really, thank you for that. Groundbreaking stuff.

“You must be starving”

Again, we’re good. Thanks though.

“Eugh, vegetarians think they’re above everybody. They’re so judgy”

You’re literally judging me as you say this, but okay. Let’s get one thing straight: not all vegetarians/vegans are pretentious, judgy, in-your-face food snobs. Most of us are actually decent people. We just don’t eat meat. That’s literally it. So give us a break, and just leaf us the F alone.

“I’d offer you some… but you know, it’s meat”

Well since we’re stating the fucking obvious, I wouldn’t accept it either. Don’t be this person. Let’s just eat in peace.

“I’m a vegetarian too! Mostly”

Well you’re just not a vegetarian then, so could you just stop insisting you are? I think it’s cool that you’re trying and everything, but just say that. I’d respect you a whole lot more if you tell me you’re trying to be more veggie, than if you tell everybody you are 100% vegan whilst yamming down your Greggs sausage roll.

Side note: Vegetarians don’t desperately seek other vegetarians – we don’t need to have this in common to be friends.

“Soy destroys forests”

And you are saving the world with your bacon sarnie how???

“Does quorn chicken taste like real chicken?”

I don’t fucking know. I’m a VEGETARIAN.

“OMG – I was vegetarian for a month”

I don’t know why people tell me this when they realise I’m vegetarian. Hats off to you buddy, but I really don’t care.

I’m not going to give you an award, or a congrats, or an “ooooh wow that’s so cool!!!” I will not be throwing some all-mighty vegetarian glory your way. I don’t even care if other people are vegetarians. Literally, no interest, at all. Just eat what you want. Quietly.

“But you’re not even skinny”


“How do you live off just salad?”

Salad? Don’t be ridiculous. Vegetarians don’t have the luxury of salad. We just starve.

“You should just try some chicken”

You should probably just stop telling people what to do. Clearly, being a vegetarian is actually really fine, and not an issue at all. Stop being so concerned about us all the time. But most of all, stop being annoying for no reason.