We asked people in long distance relationships whether it’s really worth it
And I would walk 500 miles…
We all make mistakes and regrettable decisions at university, it’s just a fact of life. Sometimes it’s silly little things as you try to work out who you are, but sometimes these mistakes can be a lot more serious and life affirming. Long distance relationships are often considered as one of these mistakes, especially if they go wrong, and although in many cases this is true, it isn't always that way.
Long distance relationships can be a conundrum, especially when you’ve just moved to uni. You’re meeting new people, you’ve never cooked pasta before, the wifi is probably broken – all of the stress is hitting you at once, and on top of that you have a relationship to maintain too.
So here are some stories about long distance relationships, successful and unsuccessful, to see what it's really like for long distance lovers.
Lewie, English Literature, Graduate
We met on Tinder and everything was cool when we were talking. We met up quite a lot when we were together, but then something happened and we started getting bored of each other. I think that's the biggest risk with long distance relationships, getting bored of each other. He got bored of me and I got bored of him, so we stopped talking for a while and we ended up falling out because he ignored me. I told him to fuck off and he did.
I regret it, it was a waste of time, but it was definitely a good learning curve for me because it made me realise the things I needed to do in my life. Having that relationship with him was good life experience for me because it made me come out to my parents.
Sophie, Maths, 2nd Year
We met when we were young, he was a friend of my cousin and a few years older than me. We started hanging out, we were friends for a while and then ended up going out. Then he moved away to go to uni and I was still in sixth form, so obviously I couldn’t see him much because I was 17 and I didn’t have any money. It was quite hard, it didn’t end very well. He was quite controlling from far away, even though I never did anything wrong. In the end it didn’t work out. I don’t know whether it was distance or whether it was just us as people, but the distance didn’t help.
I don’t think I regret it, but I don’t think I learnt very much other than to not trust dickheads.
Paul, Politics, Graduate
It was in second year of uni, so only two years ago. We got together and she seemed quite nice at the start but it got quite demanding, and it's quite difficult when you have a life in Sheffield and then they're also trying to have a life and you can't find time to talk to them. When you are together it seems like you have to try and cram everything into a small space of time.
I very much regret it.
Jordan, Accountancy, 3rd Year
We met on Tinder when I was on a family holiday and then went back to university which was about an hour train away, so there has always been some distance between us, and me being even further away now (I’m in London and she’s in the north of England) isn’t as hard as it could be, since we’ve always had distance between us. We typically see each other at the weekend every couple of weeks, but it can be longer depending on the situation. When we do see each other, we both know we have to make that time count and enjoy ourselves together. Never would we really argue because it's just not the time or the place to do it.
Sometimes it’s tough, life isn’t without it’s issues, and it’s so shit to not have that person next to you and make sure you’re okay. There’s no feeling really like it, and when you really care about someone sometimes you don’t notice the distance because it becomes integrated into your life. Do your stuff during the week, and then at the weekend see your partner. It’s my life now and that’s how it is.
Liam, Film and Media, 3rd Year
Me and my girlfriend met in year nine at high school but we didn't start dating until the final year of sixth form, so we were only together for a few months before we went to uni. Long distance is a struggle because you’re balancing your uni work and friends whilst also trying to visit your partner, which was particularly hard with the finance side as it was quite expensive to get to where she lived.
Rae, Politics, 2nd Year
For me it was really crap. I met someone on holiday and it was like they were the love of my life, but they obviously weren't, and I tried to keep a relationship going with them while I was back in England and they were from Holland. It was a combination of teenage hormones and being far apart and having massive arguments most of the time, and then not being able to talk to them about it.
I definitely learnt how to deal with people who are bad communicators. I don't regret it, it made me really sad at the time, but it was a life experience.