Joe Miles Week 2: Inside ‘Port and Policy’

If there’s one thing that is guaranteed to make people think that you’re an absolute twat in this place, it’s freely admitting that you go to “Port and Policy”, OUCA’s weekly debate club.

The principle is very simple in the eyes of Oxford students. Drink lots of port. Say obnoxious right-wing things that would make Enoch Powell wince. Hope that nobody from the student press is in attendance.

Generally, P&P is considered a joke. At best, people consider it an odd little custom populated by weirdoes in tweed jackets, which is worth doing once and only once to see what it is like.

At worst, it seems like a training ground for a gang of bigots that would be too right-wing for UKIP. Incidentally, the single worst thing you can say to a member of OUCA is that they would be more at home in the United Kingdom Independence Party.

I’ll be honest, the first time I went to Port and Policy I was expecting all of the above to be true. I even anticipated having to walk out in fear that the dialogue would be too unpleasant to stomach. But I decided to give it a try.

I enjoyed every minute of it.

As anyone who knows me will know, I’m a big fan of arguments. It’s why I enjoy the Union debates so much. But, unlike the Union, P&P allows students to get involved in the mud-slinging to a much greater extent. Just last week the motion, “This House Would Criminalise Prostitution”, saw an incredible barrage of objections to the suggestion by one member that the price of a prostitute tracked the price of crack cocaine.

Cheers to the next one

The atmosphere is also more intimate; my first few speeches in Union debates in front of hundreds of people were genuinely terrifying. At Port and Policy, there are about thirty people in the room at any time, and you can build a rapport with those present.

There’s a lot of humour to it; take last night’s motion ‘This House Would Build On Green Belt To House Britain’. Political Officer Jan Nedvídek argued that we should build on the Green Belt as our job is to care about people, not rocks and grass. Ex-President and Earth Sciences DPhil candidate Jack Matthews then opened with the line “Well, I feel that someone should speak up for the rocks…”.

The debate standard is also much better than people give it credit for. There is an incredibly diverse range of opinions among the OUCA membership, and it shows. Instead of reactionary arguments about England’s green and pleasant land, we saw the Treasurer-elect making a passionate and informed speech about the injustice of pushing affordable housing out of the city, isolating the most vulnerable in society.

Even the cries of “sound” and “shame” are part of the fun; and the amount of port you can get away with drinking is also pretty cool too.

So, come to Port and Policy this Sunday. Just to see what it’s like, like I did two terms ago.

I promise that you won’t be disappointed.