So, you want to know who did what in university sports. It’s nice to know; helps you mock people both at Oxford (if they lost) and elsewhere (if we won).

The Tab has all the info you need to look informed.

Results

The majority of BUCS (British Universities & College Sports) leagues kicked off their campaigns last week, and it was an interesting opening for a number of teams.

Let’s start with the biggest BUCS sport Oxford fields a team for: football. The mens’ teams had a poor start; the Blues went down 5-1 away to a newly-promoted Birmingham 1sts, while their ex-poly wing at BCU 1sts came up with a 5-2 victory over the Centaurs at Iffley.

Riding the Centaurs: BCU and Birmingham both beat our boys

The womens’ 1sts lost a tight one 3-2 to Derby 1sts, with the lone bright note coming from a 5-1 trashing of Warwick 1sts by the 2nds.

Elsewhere, a lot of senior teams struggled. Womens’ lacrosse, tennis and badminton all saw 1st-team losses, but the worst of the lot was in womens’ rugby union; Cardiff Met battered our valiant lasses 102-7 at Marston Sports Ground.

Netball team record winning start, also love a good #hashtag

The men lost in rugby league, squash and table tennis, but picked up a win in regular tennis.

Several 2nd and 3rd teams ran wild; the mens’ 2nds fencing came up with a 135-35 win over Nottingham 2nds, the womens’ 2nds lacrosse beat Brookes 1sts 16-4, and the hockey mens’ 3rds annihilated Worcester 2nds 20-0.

BUCS Sez: “Oxford has secured 22 wins so far this season, with 30 defeats and 6 draws, making their win rate 38%.”

Preview

Two more league games coming up for the football lads: the Blues host Loughborough 2nds, while the Centaurs travel to Aston to take on their 1sts.

Meanwhile, the womens’ teams travel to Leicester and Derby respectively for a 1st-on-1st and 2nd-on-2nd tie.

Elsewhere, it’s Oxbridge vs Oxbridge wannabees as the womens’ badminton team take on Warwick, while Uni Parks is buzzing for the return of the mens’ lacrosse 1sts.

They were championship semi-finalists last year, and will be looking to make a statement against Plymouth 1sts.

Our mens’ lacrosse team: world-beaters. Something something danger zone.

Also, after having no game in their first week, the mens’ 1sts basketball team kick off their season by hosting London South Bank.

They lost both games last year against them; can they get their season going with a victory this time?

To complete our pick of the games, our unfortunate womens’ rugby union players will be packing their bags and heading to Gloucestershire to face a team who destroyed a semi-competitive University of South Wales side 53-0 in the opener.

Could more misery be in store, or can they get an unlikely victory?

This is the official University of Gloucestershire womens’ rugby photo. I don’t know how they got this effect. I don’t know if that’s a good thing for us or not. I’m kinda scared honestly.

I mean, I’m pretty certain it’s the former, but hey, I’ve been wrong before.