Blues Preseason Roundup
The Tab take you through all the games. Turns out they can’t play hockey in Bristol.
Joe EdwardsWhile us regular Joes have been sitting at home pretending to revise for collections uploading our snaps of our wonderful expedition to Tannu Tuva and East Timor (it was totes humanitarian and all that, yeah?), the Blues teams have been putting the work in.
The Tab brings you all the details and all the results you’ll ever need.
Men against boys: Brookes didn’t stand a chance
Rugby
It was a fairly modest year for overseas tours, Hertford College RFC’s expedition to Mongolia aside. Having previous traveled to all four corners of the Earth in their various annual tours, OURFC went for a quiet one this year with a trip to the south of France, going down 24-21 to Biarritz A and 21-12 to Bayonne Espoirs.
Back in Britain, a young team without captain John Carter went down 19-10 to Richmond, but better news was to come with 32-7 and 52-3 trouncings for the U21s and Greyhounds respectively against Oxford Brookes sides.
Football
On OUAFC’s side, there was to be no repeat of the 2012 sojourn to Le Havre, but the teams played out a full slate of preseason matches.
The Blues played out their annual fixtures with the Amateur Football Alliance (2-1 loss) and the Old Carthusians (2-0 win) and added a game against Bristol 1sts (3-1 win), while the Centaurs arranged games with 1st-teams from London’s Imperial (2-0 win) and UCL (3-0 loss).
The Blues finished up their preseason with another regular fixture, against Hartpury Academy, but succumbed to a 4-0 loss there.
This blurry transmission was the last thing received before news of the nuclear annihilation of Bristol came in.
Hockey
Elsewhere, a full OUHC schedule saw highlights of 7-2 and 8-1 wins in home/away friendlies for the men’s Blues against Bristol; the women’s Blues lost their corresponding fixtures, but avenged themselves with wins over Clifton College (4-2) and Buckingham 2nds (3-1).
With some teams already kicking off their competitive fixtures, it’s going to be a big few weeks for our Blues…
Omg guys, Jacob Elordi is going to Oxford University in October to study English
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe fell in love with the campus while filming Saltburn
Oxford Uni lecturer stalked by man who flew 4,000 miles to her with a can of pepper spray
Emily SmithHe sent his bags to her office and wanted her to ‘be his Valentine’
Oxford Uni chaplain who compared sex offenders to ‘puppies needing training’ given welfare role
He asked one student assault victim if they were ‘aware of the effect they had on men’, but has now secured a post at another college
These are the subjects you need to study at Oxbridge to more than double your grad salary
In one subject, studying it at Oxbridge over any other uni will get you £47k more per year
Oxford University College offers students a Halal menu option but it includes… red wine
One student said she was ‘sadly not surprised’ at the mistake
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at The University of Oxford have successfully sued the uni
Emma Watson studies on Oxford’s creative writing course
So, people are rinsing Oxford students for dancing at a ball and it’s low-key really mean
A Ceilidh is a huge part of Scottish culture
Oxford University Vice-Chancellor with £232k salary says grads should be donating to their uni
Was my £9k a year not enough!
Two of Emma Watson’s lecturers at Oxford are suing the university for unfair dismissal
The lecturers also compared their situation to the Post Office scandal
Oxford uni called ‘patronising’ for job advice despite banning its students from working
Oxford’s policy on part-time jobs reads: ‘Term-time employment is not permitted except under exceptional circumstances’
Students from two Oxford colleges are throwing Saltburn themed parties this term
One of them is Felix and Oliver’s actual college from the film
Students at University of Oxford housed in four-star hotels due to a lack of accommodation
One of the hotels costs up to £150 a night and has an indoor pool and spa
A professor at the University of Oxford has told students to use ChatGPT for essays
The economics students were told AI ‘should help you produce a much better essay’
Oxford students forced to sleep in queues for over 24 hours to sign uni accommodation
‘It was absolutely freezing, I’m wearing three jumpers right now’
All the Oxford on campus filming locations where Emerald Fennell shot Saltburn
Harrison BrocklehurstStudents literally loaned their actual dorm rooms to the production team
BBC denies allegations of antisemitism on University Challenge due to octopus mascot and Palestinian flag colours
‘We utterly condemn the abuse that has been posted and shared’
Oxford student found escort waiting in their room booked by the university
The student found a ‘woman sitting on [their] bed in a lingerie robe’ in their hotel room
So, some Oxford Colleges actually have a chalet students can visit and it’s big Tory vibes
Rah Bartholomew are you coming to the College chalet this year?
Katie Hopkins is speaking at the Oxford Union this term and shock, no one wants her
She’s going to be debating… veganism?
Oxford College asks students to sleep on mattresses in shared rooms due to RAAC in halls
Not really the Oxford dark-academia dream you signed up for is it?
These eight awful MAFS Australia editing errors prove this season was the most staged EVER
Ellie RingI can’t believe these all went by unnoticed?!
Guys, Hinge has added a ‘hidden words’ feature that lets you block people from your likes
Long walks and Sunday roasts be GONE
A deleted scene from Baby Reindeer showed how things really ended between Donny and Teri
Phoebe KowhaiFive months after the events of Baby Reindeer took place, the real Teri left Richard a voice mail
Raving to radio: Everything Richard Gadd did after the real life events of Baby Reindeer
Francesca EkeHe even had time to go travelling
‘She inspired me’: Everything Nava Mau has said about playing Teri in Baby Reindeer
‘When I read the script, I could tell that Richard really loved her’
Jess has accused Callum of cheating on her with fellow Love Island star before their split
This breakup just gets messier and messier
What have Sara and Tim been up to since leaving the drama of MAFS Australia 2024 behind?
Tim seems to have dropped off the face of the earth
Student jailed for stabbing his housemate to death after a fight over his music taste
Syed Hussain-Kazi called his housemate a homophobic slur before stabbing him with a kitchen knife
Jack reveals MAFS Australia producers forced him to change his vows ‘six or seven times’
As it didn’t fit ‘the theme’ they wanted for their storyline
Omg, Jayden tried to sell the bracelet he got Eden on MAFS Australia for extra cash
And asked if Eden wanted to split the profit
If you can’t wait for season four of The Umbrella Academy, here’s what else the cast is in
I need my daily dose of Klaus
Kaching! The Russell Group uni subjects you need to study if you want to be a millionaire
Awkward time to be an English student x
17 years since it first aired, this is who from the Skins cast is actually still friends
Iona MacRobertI wish I was invited to their lunch reunions
A side by side comparison of Black to Black’s cast and the real people they played
Jess LawlorThey got the beehive spot on
Baby Reindeer: A psychologist has explained why Martha always used ‘Sent from my iPhone’
Despite not even owning an iPhone
A look at Richard Gadd’s intense transformation in order to appear ‘neurotic’ on Baby Reindeer
He drastically changed his appearance for the series
There was another chaotic editing error on MAFS Australia 2024 last night and it’s CARNAGE
How did the producers miss this?!
The five fashion trends all the cool girlies are wearing to festivals in 2024, according to Pinterest
Grace VielmaThe lewk bewk isn’t ready for this
Matty Healy has addressed Taylor Swift’s ‘diss track’ and is characteristically unbothered
‘I haven’t really listened’
Everything Lauren has been up to since leaving MAFS Australia 2024 like an absolute queen
She’s an icon, a legend and she is the moment