Six-ening Defeat for Womens Blues

Women’s football team lure Tabs into false sense of security with poor performance.

Blues Football varsity women

A Dark Blues shadow side fooled the Tabs into thinking they had scored a vital victory three days before Women’s Football Varsity. The Blues will now look to capitalise on Cambridge’s over-confidence when the two sides meet in the actual Varsity match

The Blues allowed the Tabs to steal into an early lead with a couple of flukey long-range punts from Furtwangler and Bale, a mistake that won’t be repeated in the match that actually matters.

Wisely conserving energy ahead of the real Varsity match the Blues let Cambridge control the closing stages of the first half.

Furtwanger lofted in her second of the game to send Oxford in three goals down at the break, but safe in the knowledge that they were saving their best for the next match.

Tabs smile foolishly not realizing the defeat that awaits them.

The second half started with a slightly more enthused showing from the Dark Blues, before they realised this game was meaningless and returned to focusing on Saturday’s grudge match.

Oxford’s nonchalance at the back could have been mistaken for sloppiness by the innocent bystander. However, to the informed viewer their indifference to the Tab’s goalscoring was clear and they were unpreturbed by conceding a 4th goal.

In a move of Machiavellian genius the Blues switched their focus to harming the Tabs as much as possible, Bale’s second goal being much less important than the fact that an injury to a Cambridge player has weakened Oxford’s opponents ahead of Saturday’s encounter.

Post-match the Cambridge players basked in the false glow of what appeared to be an impressive victory over their great rivals. Little did they realise that this glow was akin to that experienced by the pray of the angler fish before it is unceremoniously devoured.

Oxford will return to Cambridge this Saturday at 2pm confident that the Tabs 6-0 victory will prove Pyrrhic.  A far more talented and enthusiastic side than this fixture suggested the Blues will surely put the Tabs for the sword, revealing how easily Cambridge had been duped into thinking they were any good.