Attention freshers: Here’s a definitive guide to all the classic Notts clubs

You can’t go to Crisis every night x

University isn’t all about lectures, grey joggers and pesto pasta. A huge part is sussing out what clubs will become your weekly haunt, and when better to start than the beginning of first term?

Trust me, you’ll only get behind from this week onwards so enjoy yourself whilst you remain at the top of the slippery ‘I’ll start it tomorrow’ slope.

Whether you’re a Notts fresher still unpacking your Ikea kitchenware or a second/third year wanting to refresh your memory on where you should book the group Uber to each night, let me put you on track to get the best worst hangover of your life.

No time like the Pryzm

Regardless of the North/South divide, I’m sure you’ll have heard of Pryzm since they’re dotted all over the country. With the Notts Pryzm having six rooms and £1.50 drinks, you can’t go wrong.

Whether you start your night in Curve for the adrenaline rush of the R&B breakup songs or on the Main Floor pretending you don’t know the words to every chart song, just know you’ll end up in the sweaty sauna that is Vinyl downstairs for all the Mamma Mia, High School Musical and Taylor Swift you can sing your heart out too.

Rename your Monday “Quids In” like Pryzm has done (RIP Lemonade Mondays) and make sure to download Fixr to book your tickets in advance.

Take a dip in the Ocean

Ocean hosts some of the most popular club nights in Nottingham. Tickets are almost as hard to come by as an unoccupied girls toilet. They sell every colour of VK imaginable and have a playlist to make you feel like you’re at a year six disco in the best possible way.

Trent Wednesdays are infamous for their all or nothing – quite literally – outfits and Fridays are where UoN students come alive, until three am anyway.

Don’t miss out on getting your tickets by following the club’s owner and self-proclaimed “King of the Ocean” @andythehoe on Instagram. He posts when tickets go live, which can be purchased via the Ocean website. He’s Nottingham royalty at this point.

There can only be one Rock City

What do you do with your Wednesday nights? If your answer isn’t Crisis then I’m afraid you’re doing Wednesdays wrong.

Yes, the queues are long and yes, the rugby and hockey boys make the balcony smell of Sauvage and testosterone. But, would you want to be falling down the stairs anywhere else? I didn’t think so.

You’ll be spending all your society socials and a substantial amount of your student loan at Crisis every Wednesday but it’s worth every hazy memory you make in there.

Every UoN hall has Crisis rep who sells tickets but if not then the Fixr app is where to get to them, but be quick as they sell out almost instantly. Should you be so unfortunate to not to get a ticket, you can queue on the night in Stealth which is just around the corner, or try to pick up a ticket on the Unisalad Buy / Sell Facebook page.

We waited through three lockdowns, I’m sure we can afford to wait for another 40 minutes.

The rollercoaster that is Stealth

Stealth isn’t just Rock City Wednesday’s side ting, it also hosts the best D&B nights in Notts with Bubblin’ Tuesdays being their student night. Trent have claimed it as their official Tuesday night but don’t let this put you off if you go to UoN, you are welcome too.

If you like Drum and Bass, or even if you don’t, give Stealth a go and see what you think.

You can grab your tickets via the Alt. Tickets website. I guarantee you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Get Skint at NG-One

Oh NG-One. For the Tuesdays when you’ve spent all of your money in Pryzm and McDonald’s the night before, Skint Tuesdays are NG1’s way of luring you in when you could do with a night off.

It’s a lesser-known club in Nottingham despite being Pryzm’s next door neighbour. Even if you just go to witness the funky Jagerbomb shot glasses, let yourself go skint in Skint at least once over your time in Notts. Tickets are available on Fatsoma.

Nothing is square about Shapes

If house music if your thing, then Shapes is for you. With famous DJ’s, varied venues and an air of exclusivity as tickets are disgustingly hard to come by, a Shapes night out, should you be fortunate enough to attend one, is definitely worth flexing on your Instagram story.

Download Fatsoma to get a ticket so you don’t miss out on the only House night worth going to in Notts.

Popworld = cheese

While the disco lights of Pom Pom will be missed, Popworld has arrived to provide you all the cheese. It’s also an LGBTQ+ friendly club, hosting a monthly drag show. Tickets are available via the Popworld Nottingham website.

Fall head over heels for Bierkeller

Haven’t managed to find yourself a pres? Bierkeller has you covered. Drag your flatmates to Market Square and spend a few minutes locating the perfect bench that you’ll spend the night trying not to fall off. Entry is free and the steins will have you forgetting the content of your afternoon seminar in no time. They’ll inevitably force you to break the seal but who doesn’t love making friends with strangers you’ll never see again in the toilet? It’s a win win.

The themed Bonkers Bingo nights are also well worth booking via their website. Who knew bingo could get so explicit?

Remember that if clubbing isn’t your thing, it isn’t the be all and end all of your university experience. There are plenty of other ways you can spend your evenings. Like watching Louis Theroux or The Great British Bake Off.

But if you are going out, you don’t need to stress about your outfit; the dress code for everywhere is casual, jeans and a nice top will be sufficient. Feel free to wear heels but most Nottingham clubs have no vendetta against trainers – you’ll get into each club regardless of how dirty your AF Ones are.