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Unpopular opinion: Crisis is overrated and Tuned is actually a better night out

Cheaper drinks, cheaper entry, free jäger bomb and later entry. Do I need to continue?

Now, before all you die hard Crisis fans come and find me with pitchforks in hand, I’ll say one thing: 2-4-1 drinks. What more could you ask for?


We’ve been conditioned to think that Crisis is the best club night in Nottingham. When, in reality, they play the same mediocre music and serve the same semi-expensive drinks that make up every other club night around and, let’s be honest, you won’t remember what songs they played when you wake up disorientated and dehydrated the following morning (possibly not even in your own bed). The theme nights aren’t anything special either; they play the Game of Thrones theme tune once during the night and call it a GoT night. The sports lads will always ignore whatever the theme is and continue to dress in their finest branded shirt and tie that they believe highlights their injuries from the latest match, which they will not hesitate to show you in order to prove their masculinity as part of a – surprisingly fool-proof – pulling technique.

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They don't own any other clothes apart from shirts, ties and their sports kit, right?

The advanced preparation to go to Crisis is enough to put any spontaneous, procrastinating student off. You need at least a weeks notice or you’re forced to spend your Wednesday afternoon frantically scrolling through Buy/Sell which will end in you posting a, quite frankly, desperate and embarrassing attempt at being funny in order to bag yourself a ticket or begging someone via the comments for one. Or, even worse than that, you could queue. Outside. In the cold. While if you had just waited the 24 hours until Tuned you wouldn’t have to stand outside of Rock City while the alcohol you downed, in the 15 minutes you spent at pres, slowly fades.

On top of that most people have to arrive before 9:30. 9:30! Pres have barely begun. To get a decent pres you’d have to start drinking at 7 and, let’s be real, who is ready to go out at 7? That’s basically the afternoon. And if you're unlucky enough that you have to get there at 9 and there is a gig on you won't even get past Black Cherry Lounge.

It's good, but who wants to spend an hour or more here?

Buying a ticket for Tuned is simple. Just open up Fatsoma, search for Tuned and pay for it. You can even be savvy and make a few quid if you become a rep and send the link to your mates. You can then use this money to pay for twice the amount of drinks you would have got for the same amount of money at Crisis just the day before. Don’t forget your free jäger bomb that comes with the ticket but watch out – on top of your hardcore pres (that were of adequate length) and free drink – those 2-4-1 jäger bombs can be lethal.

Don’t let the fact that it’s a Trent night out put you off, you’ll be able to use that to your advantage when pulling. Your poor victim will be dazzled by how much smarter you are that they’ll instantly drop their pants and you’ll be pushed against a speaker hideously making out in no time.

So, why would you want to waste what little money you have on an over-priced re-sale ticket to Crisis to then pay more for the same drinks you would get at Tuned for half the price? You wouldn’t is the correct answer.