How studying at Nottingham is like being on I’m a Celebrity

Uni is basically survival of the fittest


To me, university was an unknown swirling vortex, where you either had the best time of your life, or you had the worst time of your life. As an only child, my university expectations had come from countless movies and legendary stories from friends siblings. Therefore, I basically had absolutely no idea what to expect, but I certainly did not expect to compare it to I’m a Celebrity at least three times a day.

Catered halls in first year

Whilst we don’t quite get crocodile, people come to dinner in crocs and pyjamas, which in my opinion is much worse. We get Dominos at least twice a week.

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Seminars are bush tucker trials

Imagine each comment you make equates to a star and those stars get tallied up at the end of the year and count towards your final grade. That’s what life is like here. Talking in class isn’t exactly on my list of priorities, I just want to listen, nod and pretend I know what the hell is going on. Thank Gosh my vast array of comments, such as saying yes to the register, doesn’t equate to the amount we get for dinner.

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Our part time job is being the stars in the bush tucker trial, can you tell?

You have no free will when it comes to fancy dressed nights

Thanks to the weekly torture that is themed nights, you have to dress up like a complete twat and make a fool of yourself in front of all your new friends. Luckily, we don’t get covered in gunge or have to climb trees for food like in the dingo dollar challenge, but some of the bouncers outside the club have the sentiment of Kiosk Keith from the outback shack.

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Praying the food will get better…

I’d rather live in Snake Rock, thanks xoxo

If that wasn’t bad enough, you’re thrown into a hall, with about 25 other people that you don’t know. If that isn’t stressful enough, you get hate for where you live. “Ugh not another Londoner” or “do you say barthhhhhhh or baaaath” . You’ll realise that the North/South Divide is almost as intense as the first few seconds of the trial before Gillian McKeith faints.

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