Diary of A Library All-Nighter
The Hallward allnighter has become a rite of passage in Notts; the Tab sent in a poor soul to share his experiences
A staple part of any unay experience, most have taken on the dreaded all nighter.
The barren wasteland that is Hallward, George Green or any computer room is sure to sap any remaining ounce of energy you might have at 4 a.m with a thousand words to go. Luke Black tries to put it into perspective…
18:00 – It’s Friday night. Let the games begin. As the Freshers leave for Ocean, the library takes on another vibe – fidgety second-years, zombie-like finalists doing dissertations and the international students who seem to have turned the Library into their primary residence.
I am all settled into my favourite booth in the cafe. Coffee, pro plus, doritos and Maryland cookies in tow. It’s going to be a long night…
The £9,000 fees are irrelevant; remove yourself from Hallward
19:00 – Ran into my chatty Cripps friends, an obscure colleague I once did a group presentation with and even get chatty with one the library staff. Then I see more people I know, and in true procrastinating form, spend another twenty minutes in fruitless conversation.
Deciding to nip this in the bud, it’s time to act. After creating a working playlist, organising my desk so that all snacks are within reaching distance and all the pens face the right way, I compile a list of books and spend the next half an hour finding the damn things…
20:00 – Right. 17 books. I surround myself with them, in the hope that their information will transcend through me and onto the page with minimal effort.
Even if unread, the books act as a safety-function
21:00 – According to a course-friend and resident Politics BNOC, everyone seems to be doing the same title. I decide that I need to be an eccentric individual.
As John Stuart Mill said: “The amount of eccentricity in a society has generally been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage it contained”. So I figure I’m a genius and change questions.
21:30 – BOOM. Essay plan done and introduction started. It’s that point of the evening where everyone feels like they deserve a break. Even those who have never smoked in their lives venture outside and huddle round the entrance.
22:00 – Coffee numero four and half a pack of pro plus means I’m shaking more than Mt. Etna and sustenance is a must.
Take-out has now become a source of contention after watching the fleet of Domino’s mopeds come and go. The pros and cons of Fortune Boy and Dinos are subsequently weighed up.This takes up a cool 20 minutes.
23:00 – Fortune Boy, WHERE. ARE. YOU? You’ve never failed me before. It occurs to me that many have been in this position before, so why on earth isn’t there a 24/7 restaurant in Hallward. Why wasn’t this in any of the SU Presidential manifestos?
Food glorious food
Crisis averted and nourishment on the table. I have successfully hidden my inconspicuous white carrier bag from the security guards.
Silent study: this means business
00:30 – Past the midnight marker, the half hearted depart for their homes and the weird factor gets turned up a notch. Pretty sure I’ve found photocopies of someone’s arse in recycle…
01:30 – An hour into essay writing, and some kick-ass quotations later, I decide to contact the outside world (a.k.a my House’s Whatsapp group):
Looks like pres are going well…
“Best Ocean pres eva!!!! All of hu stu were der and ders a lizard fight happening in the kictehn!!!! xxxxxxxXXXXxxx luve=ee you xxxxxx”
Brilliant, not only am I missing out on the Big O on a Wednesday but also hilarity and nudity.
02:30 – Procrastination levels are at an all time high after that, and clearly it isn’t just me.
Two guys zoom past the end of my stack racing on wheelie chairs. Then in typical cartoon fashion, I hear an almighty crash and yell, followed by a pissed off security guard and the two villains sprinting away. There goes my concentration again…
03:00 – Most tend to stretch their legs and try clear their minds after losing their concentration (and thereby will to live) and there’s at least three other people doing laps of the third floor with me.
One girl however, who earlier looked a touch volatile, has lost it. Sat in the elevator and sobbing her heart out a la ocean steps, she has hit the button for every floor on several occasions making it known from silent study right through to the cafeteria how hard her life is right now. Get a grip…
04:00 – It seems that the Hallward has now become some kind of ghost-town. I could do anything up here, I could strip naked and run around aimlessly, I could dance on top of the laptop power points….not even the sleeping international students would care, nor the girl who has brought her duvet here as well. I am king of Hallward!
In fact, I’ve just seen a couple swoon into the men’s toilets…classy.
Some students have assumed the library as a secondary-residence
I decide to join my friends on the basement floor, both are zombie-like, surrounded by coffees and pro-plus. I think they may have finally cracked.
4AM blues…
05:00 – The cleaners have arrived. I think. Maybe they’re a hallucination. I don’t even know any more. Okay they’re not omni-present beings but I’m starting to wonder if this is similar to being left behind in Ocean toilets…
06:40 – Good lord it’s now definitely the morning. Never have I scowled at the beautiful song of the tweeting birds. I’m out of dorito’s and cookies and with not a penny left to buy a shit 90p coffee from the machine, I am starting to feel very sorry for myself.
07:00 – People are arriving. As in, they’re starting their day. However, the essay is done and I’m nearly free. Only a handful of those that dared take on the all nighter remain…
An unusual site; the café…..empty?!?!?
08:00 – FINITO. I approach the printer, my hands quivering, I just can’t believe that its done. Don’t fuck with me now world.
09:00 – Home. Bed. Goodbye cruel world.
Grace Campbell
Families of Nottingham attack victims recall moment they were told about their deaths
‘I remember I got out the car and I screamed. It was just like everything went dark around us’
Bella Fatherley
Man jailed for nine years after killing Nottingham Trent student in police car chase
‘Our beloved Oshada was very close to our hearts and can never be forgotten’
University of Nottingham alumna died from stage four cancer while visiting family in China
Gwen Zheng died in March after being diagnosed with stomach cancer last October
Families of Nottingham attacks victims call for law change after killer’s sentence reviewed
‘Until the law is changed murderers will get away with murder’
Nottingham University introduces mandatory breathalyser for all students before lectures
This comes after attendance to morning lectures dropped to an all time low
Here’s what your favourite night out says about you as a Notts student
Lexi KenseyFrom the sticky floors of Ocean to the fresh downing pints at Sheaves
Courtney Layzell
From nightlife to natural beauty: This is what Notts students love most about the city
Rufus ReddingIt’s not just the nightlife that Notts has to offer
Nottingham student sentenced for involvement in Depop designer clothing scam
Enoch Onojighofia has been ordered to undertake 180 hours of unpaid work
Nottingham University students occupy Trent Building in protest of arms manufacturers
Students demanded the university ends partnerships with arms manufacturers
Your ultimate guide to the best post-library pint spots in Notts
Daniel EllisThe most important article I’ve ever written
PSA: Here are the best places for your parents to stay for graduation
Alexandra HaydenBecause they deserve something cosy
Man admits to making bomb hoax in Market Square same day as Nottingham attacks vigil
65-year-old Vivian Mackay called police and told them he had planted a bomb inside a tree
Families of Nottingham attack victims back decision to put police into ‘special measures’
The decision means that the force will have to improve the way in which they carry out effective investigations and support victims
PSA Notts students: Here’s all the best advice from Nottingham alumni
Lizzi MathiasWe asked Nottingham alumni what they wish they knew sooner and here’s what they said…
Families of Nottingham attack victims say police boss is ‘hiding away’ from them
‘Why can she not just pick up the phone?’
Here’s how to make the most out of your final semester at UoN
Finola SpeckWhether you’re a slave to George Green library, a Crisis cult follower or somewhere in between
Poppy Belton
Everything Jack O’Connell has been up to since breaking all our hearts as Cook in Skins
Rebecca MurphyHe’s now starring in the new Amy Winehouse biopic Back To Black
From absolute legends to losers, the definitive ranking of Coachella’s biggest headliners
Aaron EdwardsThere’s been the best of shows, there’s been the worst of shows
Emily Smith
Tori has finally spilled what her friendship status is now with the other MAFS Australia girls
Harrison Brocklehurst‘What those girls did to me was not friendship’
Madeleine complains that her MAFS Australia edit made her look like a ‘batsh*t crazy b*tch’
Francesca EkeThe psychic medium said that producers ‘pushed on a relationship topic that she didn’t want to go into’
MAFS Australia bride says groom broke up with her ‘out of the blue’ and won’t reply to her
‘He won’t reply to me. He hasn’t replied’
A body language expert says Jack and Tori are lying about having sex on MAFS Australia
‘Do I think they had proper sex? No’
Everything Eden and Jayden have been up to since their messy run on MAFS Australia
Apparently they broke up FOUR TIMES after filming finished
This is why everyone thinks Taylor Swift’s song thanK you aIMee is about Kim Kardashian
The title literally spells out KIM!!
All the savage Matty Healy lyrics Taylor Swift sings on The Tortured Poets Department
‘They shake their heads and say God help her when I tell them he’s my man’
Richard Gadd speaks about how similar Baby Reindeer’s Martha actually is to his real stalker
Phoebe KowhaiShe did actually send him over 41,071 emails and leave 350 hours of voicemails
Student at £43,000 a year private school ‘smashed the skulls’ of two students with hammer
The 17-year-old also tried to kill a teacher in ‘horrific attack’
Ellie Ring
What have Timothy and Lucinda been up to since their MAFS Australia 2024 homestay fight?
They’re still besties!
Here’s where to watch Richard Gadd next if you’re obsessed with Netflix’s Baby Reindeer
He’s in a police show with Stephen Graham!
Digs at Davide to Lorraine Kelly drama: What Ekin-Su has been up to since Celeb Big Brother
Iona MacRobertShe’s been in the headlines a lot lately
After their tense homestay, are Jack and Tori still together after MAFS Australia 2024?
I need answers immediately
Yikes! A snippet of Taylor Swift’s new album has allegedly leaked and people are SLATING it
‘We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist’ is an actual lyric
Inside the life of Walton Goggins, the Fallout ghoul everyone is weirdly crushing on
Lily ColdstreamYes, it’s possible to thirst after a man who looks like a carved pumpkin