What Christmas song is your halls?

We all want to be Mariah

As Christmas draws closer and closer, let’s have a look at which songs should really be making your flat playlist. And this is what you should be listening to according to your halls.

The Terraces – Fairytale of New York

As duets go, Norfolk Terrace and Suffolk Terrace is a tale as old as time. Sure there might be a few insults tossed back and forward:”You’re a bum, You’re a punk, You’re an old slut on junk”  but deep down it’s true love.

In the dark of predrinks, everyone’s having fun in the Terraces, choirs are singing, Sinatra is swinging. It’s only in the harsh winter morning light that you can see how truly miserable a post-LCR hangover is in a Terrace:”Lying there almost dead, on a drip in that bed”.

Constable Terrace – All I Want For Christmas Is You

What a humble bunch – They don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing they need.

Although, this is mainly because Constable is some of the most expensive accommodation on campus. They’ve got everything they could ever want – their own bathroom, a beaut view of the lake, some of them have even got balconies. They “don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree” – easy to say when everyday is like Christmas.

Paston House – The Christmas Song

“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” is the only acceptable festive explanation for the amount of fire alarms the poor people in Paston suffer. Paston residents spend so much time stood outside their pricey pads that they should really be paying rent to the rabbits.

Nelson Court – Baby It’s Cold Outside

Just as no one can say no the creepy man in this song, no Nelson Court resident can say no the LCR. You’ve got so many deadlines and so much reading, you really can’t stay . But when the LCR is right on your doorstep it’d just be plain rude to turn it down  –Maybe just a half a drink more”

The Village – 2000 miles

The days are getting colder, that walk on to campus is only getting more miserable. It might not be 2000 miles, but in the wise words of The Pretenders “it’s very far”.

Mary Chapman Court – Do They Know It’s Christmas Time?

Poor Mary Chapman Court – they don’t get to live on campus, they don’t get to enjoy the big blue Christmas tree in the square, do they even celebrate Christmas?

As if it wasn’t bad enough having to take a bus to get to the LCR, MCC have to live with bedbugs, cockroaches and exploding hobs. They’re the ultimate UEA charity case – “tonight thank God it’s them instead of you”.

Orwell & Wolfson Close – I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

We couldn’t even find a photo of anyone who lived in Wolfson

You guys are adorable. You’re sweeter than a candy cane, you’re chirpier than an elf, you’re cuter than a kid who just wants a hippo for Christmas.

Unfortunately, no one has heard of you and no one has a clue who you are. Sorry.