Everything that will happen on a night out at Factory

Quids in anyone?

Factory, it’s the club we all love to hate. We all pretend we are too cool for factory but really it’s our guilty pleasure. With three floors of pure bangers it’s always a guaranteed good night. But what is also guaranteed is that all these things will happen to you on a night out at the pleasure dome that is factory.


Factory is great for a night of spontaneity (which we know is rare in Manchester the land of ticketed events).

It’s Saturday night, you don’t really fancy going out, you pop to the pub have a few bevs but suddenly you think of a sweaty nightclub and a few more double voddies. Antwerp? Nope, the tickets sold out weeks ago. Hidden? Again, no tickets are left. So you decide, ‘fuck it lets go factory’. It might not be as edgy as Antwerp or Hidden, but this little corner of cheap manc paradise is all you need.

carpe diem

Carpe diem

The queue

This separates the boys from the men. No matter what day, come rain or shine the queue is what feels like at least a mile long. Should you stay and queue for what feels like 10 years or just leg it? No, you love factory, those top 40 remixes are calling your name, so you stay. Or if you are a girl, as much as we don’t want to admit it, we can most of the time manage to skip the queue, so this is irrelevant.

But look how fun the queue is

But look how fun the queue is

Getting in

You have now endured the worlds longest queue, but you look at the time and think ‘shit’. You have missed the two pound entry.  If only you had got there at 11 (but what about spontaneity?). So you whip out the 6 pounds, but come on this will be fun.

you cant put a price on fun

You cant put a price on fun

Three floors of pure bangers

You are in and realise it is worth it because nothing beats the absolute array of tunes and floors at factory. If you fancy top 40 remixes then downstairs is for you, it may be a bit more sweaty and overcrowded but that remix of JB’s ‘Sorry’ is well worth the condensation that is forming on your glasses.

all the squad loving JB

All the squad loving JB

If you are more of an indie chick, who was dragged here by your mates and you really just want to be at 42’s then the middle floor it is. From The Wombats, some classic Arctic Monkeys or Sum 41, it really is like being transported back to your year nine emo phase.

I said I bet that you look good on the dancefloor

I said I bet that you look good on the dance floor

Lastly floor three is for those who you find shuffling to that dirty baseline. Insane strobe lights mixed with some dirty base, it really is a cheeky Nando’s shuffling dream.

post shuffle embrace

Post shuffle embrace

One way system

However the bane of a night at factory is attempting to navigate the one way system. All you want to do is get to the smoking area but the bouncer says you have to cut around the smallest wall ever.


But this is all forgotten about because of one of the main attractions of Factory; the fact it offers a labyrinth of drunken adventures. Why not find your way to through the tunnels to the toilets or go through the stairs that are hidden in the back? The possibilities are endless.

lets go that way to the hidden stairs

Let’s go that way to the hidden stairs

The inevitable so where did you go this weekend?

Then the night draws to a close and you have to say goodbye to factory and all its wonders.

Then the inevitable happens. A few days later in some seminar on women in early modern England, you have that dreaded conversation. So where did you go this weekend, you reply with ‘erm, Factory but I promise it was a last minute thing’. They look at you all gone out and describe how they had the most amazing time at Congo Natty at Antwerp. But think about it, they had to sort that out weeks in advance, whereas you lived in the moment, you were the embodiment of carpe diem and you actually had a good time.  So don’t feel guilt about your factory night out, revel in it and all its glory.