FIFA is better than a girlfriend
A tribute to our best friend, our soul mate
Toby ParkesBoys, we love FIFA. So, so much. It’s hard to put our finger on why, but it is a connection like no other, a love that has developed over many, many years. It’s always been there for you, and always will.
For those of you that are single, here’s a justification for being so. For those of you that aren’t, don’t forget the one who has been there for you since Michael Owen was an interesting person to talk about.
FIFA is ALWAYS happy to see you when you are home
No matter how your day has been.
HELLO AGAIN! LETSPLAYLETSPLAYLETSPLY
It comes with an Instruction Manual
Girls absolutely do not.
Rule number 1: When she says that everything is ‘fine’, it most certainly is not
A ‘quick one’ is enjoyable for all parties
Was it good for you?
It will always forgive you if you get caught offside
Girls will not.
A girlfriend will consider it weird to celebrate after a good finish
Even the Suarez dive/the Fish/the Brick Fall doesn’t get any approval
You get a newer, younger version every year
Nearly, Kolo, nearly.
An injury to an important member can be replaced by someone equally as potent in a jiffy
Goal Machine Sonogo, clinical as ever
Last minute goals are better than sex
Agueerroooooooooooo
No better feeling in the world. Left him broken.
You can share it with a friend
In fact, you are encouraged to do so.
When your batteries run out, you can just replace them
Will this recharge my batteries?
Finally, and most importantly…
You are always spending time with the lads
Post match man time
This article was originally published on The Tab Manchester.
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