All the excuses you make before you inevitably end up in Concert Square anyway

Real eyes realise real lies

We’ve all been there, shamelessly roped into a night out we didn’t even want to go to by our slightly alcoholic friends. As much fun as a night out is, sometimes you just simply aren’t in the mood, but that’s no excuse, surely?

Before you inevitably end up in town, intoxicated like never before, you try to think of every excuse under the sun to get you out of it. If you’re ever struggling for a reason not to go out, we’ve found a solution to all your pathetic excuses to avoid a boozy piss up. Spoiler: you’ll still end up out anyway.

“I have no money”

True, but none of us “have money”. Scrape together some of last week’s vodka, or even borrow some of your mates. If Becky was a true friend and so desperately wanted you to go out, she would let you have some of her gin. After all, sharing is caring. With the amount of free bars in Liverpool, entry is no problem, and as long as you’ve pre drank hard enough you don’t need to worry about drinks in the club. Scavenge through your wallet to find any left over 10 and 20p’s, enough to get some cheesy chips on the way home, and you’re all set.


“I have a 9am tomorrow”

Ahh, probably one of the most common (and pathetic) excuses of your uni life. Yes, you may not make it to bed until 5am, or even at all, but for the sake of a 2 hour lecture – which even just turning up to is an achievement – you can be the hero and make it to your 9am even after a heavy night. Wake up, brush your hair, take a bottle of water with you and a whole lotta hope. This is the last three years of your life you can mess about in, you can most definitely turn up to uni with last nights make up on. Make the most of it.

“I have an assignment due really soon”

Don’t lie, especially when you have course mates in your friendship group. George knows you don’t have an assignment due until the end of next week, and chances are you have no intention of even thinking about it at least until three days before it’s due. We know you secretly just want to sit in bed with some mashed potato watching the newest episode of Broadchurch.

“My boyfriend/girlfriend is coming up from home”

Why can’t they come along? Couples who party together stay together, right?

“I told myself I’d have this week off”

Who are you trying to kid? You’ve spent the last 15 weeks going out at least twice and now you want to give yourself the week off? Cut the “My body is a temple” crap, giving yourself one weeks break is really not going to make much difference! Also, you didn’t tell yourself you’d have the week off, you decided about five seconds ago at the first mention of a night out, we can smell your lies from miles away.

Sometimes you have to remind yourself

“I don’t have anything to wear”

We are at uni, it’s perfectly acceptable to wear the same thing you wore the last three nights out. No one will judge, to be honest, no one will probably even notice.

So many options, nothing to wear

“I’m still hungover “

You went out last night with a different group of friends and drank away your sins, and today you feel like absolute death. There is absolutely no way you can go back out… Until your friend turns up at your door with a shot of vodka. Hair of the dog, as they say…


“It’s raining/cold”

Wear a coat?

“I think I’m getting ill”

This is probably one of the best excuses, it’s hard to argue with a ‘sick’ person. Put on your best croaky voice and sniffly nose and hope you don’t get caught out.

The only place I want to be tonight

In your uni life, the chances are you would have used majority of these excuses to avoid a night out you really don’t want to go on. You could try any excuse on your not so gullible friends, chances are theres something inside you telling you to go out anyway. Oh and of course, you could always just say no…