A fool proof guide to not letting uni get the better of you

Leave the boujee coffee machine at home


It’s 2 pm on a Wednesday, you’re nearly halfway through fresher’s and have woken up with your third consecutive hang over of the week. You’ve missed your politics induction lecture for fear of chundering and dare enter the kitchen for a hangover solace as you’ve already tried every pot noodle flavour in the cupboard, and you're questioning how many ingredients of the Jamie Oliver’s ‘Everyday Superfood’ cookbook you’re likely to have.

Surely, this can't be maintained for the whole year?

Although there is no religious handbook of uni hacks, there are certainly some do’s and don’t of uni life, so look no further, because we have the only guide you'll need to survive fresher's and beyond:

Do:

1. Force conversation when necessary. You probably aren’t too fussed where the 5th gap year you met at a pre's found themselves on their travels, but pretend you care anyway. It may feel like unfamiliar territory but there’s no way around it, embrace the rehearsed script of someone’s degree, hometown and student accommodation with the knowledge you’re unlikely to even remember their name.

2. Avoid daunting fancy looking cookbooks that your auntie gifted you on news of your uni acceptance. Googling BBC recipes and the like usually do the trick, tending to avoid pompous ingredients such as Truffle oil.

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3. Try and make your room as homely as possible, the occasional picture and IKEA fairy lights go a long way, and just make it that bit nicer to come home to post-lecture on a dark and bitter evening. One good thing about Leeds is the endless poster and plant sales around the uni, so you have no excuse for a dull dorm when you can bag a Great Gatsby poster and cacti for £5.

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4. Do try and get on with your housemates, even they aren’t your kind of people and continually use your boujee coffee machine. Firstly, it’s your fault for bringing a boujee coffee machine, and secondly, you’re going to be living with them for a year. The more passive aggressive messages you can avoid in the group chat, the better.

5. Try and use your student discounts everywhere. Even if it is just 10%, that might just be another tequila shot at Wire.

Do Not:

1. Pay £25+ for a High Rise Beaverworks night. Try to get in early for the big events, you can have a sick night, and still afford your weekly shop. Second years are out to get you in retaliation for the scamming they endured, and they take no prisoners when it comes to innocent fresher’s.

2. Pre-judge people from private schools, boarding schools, comprehensive schools, grammar schools or really any type of school. Supress any Wild Child induced judgments, and consider each person from a fresh view, stigmas and stereotypes simply hinder potential friendships and you’ll find people often surprise you.

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3. OK, unpopular opinion, but don't waste money on VK’s.

There I said it.

They may taste good but no-one’s going to take you seriously. You can find your 4% alcohol fix from many other drinks that don’t make you look like you’re a year 9 who’s just discovered WKD.

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4. Think you’re too good for certain clubs and events. Explore a range of things on offer as once first year is over its slightly less acceptable to be posting for Fruity Friday tickets on the Leeds Uni page.

5. Expect to love it straight away. Fresher’s week is massively overrated, unless your agenda is to pull, and it’s a completely alien environment. Don’t suffocate your feelings of potential awkwardness and anxiety, however try to channel it in to better communication as more often than not you’ll find that the people around you are on the same wavelength.

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Regardless of your adherence to any do's and don't thrown your way, making a fool of yourself and rinsing your finances is a fresher right of passage. Embrace the first year lack of responsibility and if you remember anything, it should be to leave the boujee coffee machine at home.

The Tab Leeds

last seen today at 06:09

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