The best places to cry on campus

We’re all just quite soppy at heart


January’s over and it’s really fucking cold.

You may have survived exam time but IT JUST FEELS LIKE NOBODY UNDERSTANDS YOUR STRUGGLE.

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Heaving, sighing and silently suffering your way around campus sometimes isn’t enough. Let’s face it; you need to have a good old snivelling, blubbering lamentation.

Don’t despair, emotionally in touch comrades, we’ve got you covered with the four best places to cry on campus.

St George’s Field: The Cemetery behind Henry Price

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This is the mothership of crying spots. Indeed, if it were a ship, it would sail on a sea of tears.

Located at the North Edge of campus this sheltered, ghostly haven of sorrow is a place you’ll do a bit of truly inspired sobbing – wistful, gothic and mysterious weeping.

Your dead homeboys aren’t going to interrupt you while you revel in your loneliness, and it is usually pretty peaceful.

Rating: 9/10

In a shadowy corner of the Old Bar with a pint

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Sadness is a little less sorrowful with a drink.

So why not head over to the Old Bar, position yourself in a dark, dank corner, inhale the stench of stale alcohol and let it all out. You could always order some comfort food to cry into as well – crying while eating is a really fab look on anyone.

Rating: 6/10

The fountain by Roger Stevens

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Why not liberate some tears while sat by this dismal water feature.

Hell, why not wade – knee deep – into that motherfucker and wail your little heart out? You’ll get all wet, be hailed a champion, and no one will ever know.

Rating: 7/10

The showers in the Edge

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In the words of Elle Woods of Legally Blonde, “exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.”

But if you’re still melancholy let loose in the changing room showers. The water will muffle your sobs and you can do one of those dramatic shower-crys like in the movies.

Plus, you can pretend you got shampoo in your eyes, high five your friend, and then go and FUCKING BEAST IT WHILE YOU PUMP SOME SERIOUS IRON BRO.

Rating: 5/10

But these soppy spots might not appeal to the apparently fussy criers of Leeds. Politics second year Art Sejdiu said: “I would probably cry in the arms of a lover or a friend.”

Fellow second year Brendan Conlan suggested: “I’d cry outside the clinical trials centre by Charles Morris – people will think they’ve accidentally given you polio or Ebola, lots of pity from a safe distance.”

Right you are, Brendan. A wide berth is always desirable.