Here’s a guide to absolutely every type of guy you’ll find on Tinder in Exeter

It’s safe to say you won’t be meeting your soulmate

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“Wanna have some fun? xx”: I am sure most of you are familiar with that line. University is an institution where bored and hormonal young people get together and enter their quarter-life crisis, which is so worth the insane amounts of debt, right? Most people I know, including me, use Tinder. Based on my extensive experience of seeking a good time and not having one, I feel obliged to write a guide to all the different types of guys you’ll find in Exeter for your future reference. You don’t have to listen to my advice, but it’s probably a good idea.

Rah, rah, Exetah 

First on my list, the breed that’s native to Exeter: The posh guys. They could easily be distinguished by their (typically) blonde curtains, coupled with their full Ralph Lauren outfits and a tweed jacket or Schöffel. Even if you’re blind, you could easily hear them with their posh accents, where they elongate the last vowel of every word: “Rahhh”. They’re often seen in herds at Wine Soc socials or the races. They have a tendency to ghost you after one date. AVOID!

Indie musician wannabes

Long mops of hair that cover their eyes and a thrift store fashion sense: That is the typical look for indie guys. They frequent Cavern Saturdays and their Instagram feed is full of them showing off their skills on an electric guitar. They also pretend to like reading by posing with the thickest book possible and they most definitely have a SoundCloud account with 10 followers.

Rugby/Lacrosse/Hockey/Rowing lads

To be honest, this is basically most guys in sports societies. Their first picture on their profile is definitely a candid of them playing their sport, followed by a lot of blurry night out pictures, sometimes even a pic of them sporting some strange costume at a social. They’re also notoriously loud when intoxicated. But, they’re also the most sought after type by girls, hence why the TP Wednesday tickets are always sold out. They’re good for late night mischiefs, but not so good for deep conversations and they tend to make last minute “hangout” plans late at night.

Gym rats

(The best photo I could get was of my friend when he was younger – you can really see the sporting prowess coming into shape here).

Oh, the classic gym guys. You don’t have to be on Tinder long enough to come across profiles that solely consist of shirtless mirror selfies and the occasional jawline shot in a dark room in bed. They practically camp out at PureGym in town to get those gains. They make sure to train every part of their body (except for their brains). Their diet consists solely of broiled chicken breasts, broccoli and rice. They’re also hard to make plans with and their idea of a perfect date is a takeaway Efes kebab in their car.

Locals

Exeter’s population does not solely consist of the university’s students. There is a sizeable population of locals. Their first picture on their profile is always a car selfie. They always try to grow a full beard but the end result is often far from one’s expectations. They can often be seen in North Face puffers and trackies, which, to be fair, is the uniform for a lot of Exeter’s hungover lectures.

Now, it’s time to delete the app!

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