It’s back! Clubbers of the Week: 2021 Freshers’ Week edition

After a long 18 months, Clubbers of the Week is back and bigger than ever

Clubbers of the Week is back!

It has been 18 months since the last one before the clubs closed in March 2020 – but it is bigger than ever.

For those of you freshers and second years who have never had the joy of reading Clubbers of the Week before, every week The Edinburgh Tab trawl through Edi’s club pictures to find the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

Scroll through to try and find yourself or your pals – and be sure to tag them in the comments.

Stunner of the week


Rocking the red

Runners up 

Check(er board) her out!

A covid safe cutie

Friends who queue for Subway together stay together

Made even more stunning by the drink in each hand

New AW21 trend incoming: colour coordinating your look and your drink

Creepers of the week


“Hey guys, I saw you at the pantry pres at Ewing how are youuuuuu”

Runners up

That face when you need a pee but your path is blocked by some girls taking a photo

“After three say creeper…”

When your friends won’t stop asking the photographer for pics

“those two girls are still behind me aren’t they?!”

Third wheel of the week


When your pal pulls the girl you’ve been grafting all night

Runners up

If two is company and three is a crowd, then four is having a perfectly good squad photo barged in on by a random

Just the two of us (and some randomer)

The Flare lurker is back!

The hand is his mate telling him to stop ruining the pretty girls’ club photos

Wanker of the week


Okay, who of you let him out in that ~interesting~ shirt

Runners up

What makes a person look at a piece of plastic spitting out fire and think: “I’m gonna put that in my mouth”

Why are you wearing sunglasses in the dark, my guy

Again with the flaming plastic in your mouth, jeez

We get it, you like VKs

Hero of the week


Strawpedo level 2759

Runners up

This guy hasn’t been in a club in 18 months and is living his best life

Not all heroes wear capes, some buy Hooch for the whole club

Lick my lollipop 😉

Down it fresher

Heroine of the week


Not pictured, her knees giving out in 30 seconds 

Runners up

Put your hands up if you’re having the time of your life

Posing for the camera and not spilling a drop, a skill

What products do you use on your hair, DM me!

Making the bold decision whether or not to queue for Subway

WTF of the week


This isn’t what freshers sharking means mate

Runners up

The arm wrestle, the weird pose, the glass that’s about to fall off – a lot of WTF for one small pic

“In my expert opinion they’re an A cup”

This one is a real head-scratcher

“Babe, you’ve gotta stop pretending to be a bird in the middle of clubs – we’ve spoken about this”

Mutant of the week


TFW you match your beer

Runners up 

Yeah mate we’re confused too

She Viva La Cowgate-ed a bit too hard

Look mum no hands

Eyes on the prize (a venom!)

TFW you start leaking vodka

Album covers of the week


Jolene on her way to steal your man

Runners up

Murano’s answer to Mumford and Sons

99 problems but the moves ain’t one

“Alexa play Shake It by Metro Station”

Coming to an edgy Berlin techno club near you

Unhappy clubbers of the week


“Blink five times if you want to go home”

Runners up

When you see your friend who’s a nine getting with a three

“grab your coat we’re going”

When you used to come to Subway religiously pre-pandemic now all the freshers have turned up and made it busy

When you spill your venom and your friends won’t share

When you hate Hive but your friends drag you against your will

When you’ve got Distrikt at 1am but your Chancellors cleaners are coming at 9am

No paps x

Shark of the week


Who said romance is dead

Runners up 

Cheeky rascal x

Green to make the boys lean

*slow dancing to Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom! by the Vengaboys*

“So yeah, the reason we can’t just print more money is…”

Squad of the week


2021’s answer to the Spice Girls

Runners up

Gals, gals, gals

Getting wavy

I’ve never seen four best friends looking like they’re going to the same place

The girl in the stripy top didn’t get the blue jeans memo

Who doesn’t love a neon sign

The bois

Best of the rest

Someone’s happy to be clubbing again

Must’ve been a funny joke

Raaaaahhhh where’s my vaccy

On her way to steal your girl

So how many hooches did you order?

Coming to a cinema near you, Subway: The Movie

Someone loves her Monzo

Bring your mum to Hive night


Love Wednesdays – the Cupcakke remix

Okay we’ve officially run out of captions now

Image credits:

Neil Stewart (Tamagotchi Tuesday)

Kealan Bond (Flare Monday and Love Wednesday)

Thomas Michael (Hive)

James Gourlay (Ice Wednesday, Distrikt Monday, Rascals)

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