2016 has been rough, here’s what you can look forward to for the rest of it
Here’s to sticking our heads in the sand
Unless you’re a complete psychopath I think it’s safe to say that 2016 has been a year we’d all like to forget. From tragic celebrity deaths to a tragic celebrity being elected President of the United States, it’s been a bit of a roller coaster.
I don’t know about you, but my Facebook feed is about as depressing as madness inducing as a 12 hour stint at the library. So, if you’re like me and want to treat 2016 like an essay and just pretend it doesn’t exist for a while, here’s a few things to look forward to to take your mind off of it.
The Christmas market
It’s actually mid November so it’s finally an acceptable time to crack out the Michael Buble album and get your ridiculous jumper on because Christmas is just around the corner (kind of).
That also means that the Christmas Market is also coming to Princes Street Gardens which, unless you’re a complete scrooge, is something to celebrate. I mean come on, I know its about as camp and expensive as a night with Alan Carr but it still manages to do the impossible feat of making Edinburgh even more beautiful than it already is.
What can I say, like an alcoholic moth, I’m a sucker for pretty lights and mulled wine.
The John Lewis / Sainbury’s Christmas adverts
Okay, okay, I know it’s more Christmas stuff and I know that looking forward to watching an advert is like looking forward to paying the 50p card charge at your local off licence, but still, they rarely disappoint.
I’m not sure if they literally hired the team from Mad Men to come up with these ads but they always find the line between heartwarming and cringe so well that it could make a devout Muslim want to sing ‘I wish it could be Christmas’ at the top of his lungs out his window.
This year Sainsbury’s have even gone absolutely mental and got James Corden singing throughout the whole ad, it’s so bizarre I couldn’t help but laugh.
Planet Earth II
God bless David Attenborough. To me he really does feel like a saint, saving the world from itself by having possibly the most soothing and comforting voice I’ve ever heard and every Sunday he saves me from my crippling hangover through some of the most wholesome and mind blowing TV out there.
Who needs to go to church on a Sunday when you’ve got Britain’s very own Jesus narrating the life of a sloth?
Seriously, if you can see well enough to read this article and you’re not watching Planet Earth you’re either a robot or a Trump supporter who thinks it’s some kind of environmentalist propaganda – either way you’re not human.
Leonardo Di Caprio is coming to visit Edinburgh
Yes, you read that correctly. By some miracle Leo has managed to remove his body from a bed filled with Swedish models to come to a place that gets dark at 4 in the afternoon.
Either in a drug induced haze or in some prelude to a Britney circa 2007 style breakdown, he is flying out to Edinburgh on Thursday to a visit a sandwich shop. Maybe in Beverly Hills the idea of a sandwich is some kind of novelty, as they wont eat anything which hasn’t been juiced or that is so organic that counts as a religious experience.
But no! Leo is actually blessing us with his presence for the charity Social Bite, where you can win the chance to have lunch with him for just £5 a ticket. After how unlucky we’ve all felt this year, I think at this point the forces of the universe should align so at least one of us can get his number to drunk text at three in the morning.
Okay yeah I know what you’re thinking, I’ve finally lost it, Edinburgh has cracked me, call the psychiatric ward and ask if they’ve got any space. Why in God’s name would anyone look forward to the cold, let alone your typical southern softie – yours truly?
Yes, summer is a far superior season to winter and I would trade 25 degree sunshine for the weather we have now any day of the week, but that misses the point. Winter is like the slightly dimmer sibling of summer, it might have got shit GCSES, but you love it anyway.
Is there a better feeling than wrapping up warm and having a cup of tea when you look outside and it looks like your flat relocated to the arctic circle? Although there almost certainly is a better feeling than that at least you’ve got an excuse to bang out the winter wardrobe, its all about the silver linings.