We spoke to this year’s Varsity team about Sea Bass, Harry Styles and Rom-Coms

The truth and nothing but the truth

With the annual and infamous Edinburgh vs St. Andrews varsity match looming next Saturday, the men’s first team are gearing up for what they describe a ”grudge match”, in the hopes that they can claim a victory as impressive as the women’s team last year.

After their literal last minute defeat in 2015, the team have been powering through pre-season since the 22nd of August with two gym sessions a day, regular training on the pitch and even some extra-curricular cardiovascular exercise off the pitch for those really wanting to go the extra mile.

In the meantime, between receiving promise rings from their SOs and the club captain’s occasional dates to musicals (Cats) with the replacement scrum half, they got down as a team to answer some of life’s most important questions.

Favourite Rom-Coms? 

“The Proposal”

“Notting Hill”

“Me Before You” (NB: at this point Nick Stephen, first team captain, did actually confess to tears whilst watching this)

“Marley and Me” (“That’s about a dog, it’s not a rom-com”)

What would you cook on a first date? 

“Grilled sea bass on a bed of veg (carrots), bit of samphire, bit of balsamic glaze and a mean salsa verde”*

*all suggestions up to this point had been fairly tame in the regions of pasta pesto, shepherds pie etc until Ainsley Harriot piped up 

One drink for the rest of your life? 


“Someone say blackcurrant cider and we’ll do a snakebite”

Would you rather have no one turn up to your wedding or your funeral? 

“Wedding. Funerals are normally a bit of a piss up.”

They just really like rugby

Would you rather marry or kick Harry Styles? 

“Kick, definitely.”

“No no, marry him for his money then divorce him.”

Would you rather have sex with Margot Robbie and no one believe you or not have sex with her and everyone think you have? 

“Would rather actually have sex with her”

After this quick and insightful dabble into the Rugby club’s innermost thoughts, topic quickly and inevitably reverted to characters within the club.

Loosest fresher last year? 

“Sam Blott. Rocked up to pre-season once at the beginning then didn’t return.”

Best dancer? 

“Ben Rose”

Biggest lightweight? 

(unanimous) “Nick Stephen.”

Nick Stephen (indignant): “Me? No, fuck off!”

Fastest strawpedo? 

(unanimous)”Nick Stephen”

Nick Stephen: “Thanks lads”

And finally, the groundbreaker:

Would you rather lose to St Andrews or beat them and never have a shag again? 

“Ooh. Does that mean everything? Tough one but would have to never shag again.”

For those who want to see the team lose shagging rights, the game will be at Murrayfield on the 24th of September at 17:00. Tickets are free for students and you can get them here: https://www.eticketing.co.uk/varsity/ This ticket also gives you free entry into the hallowed grounds of Cav for an after-party which promises to be large at the very least.