Why are we all clicking ‘interested’ on Facebook events?

We know you aren’t really going to go


A couple of months ago something drastic happened. Facebook introduced a new button and it completely changed the politics of Facebook events. Gone is the elusive “maybe”, now all we have is the enigmatic “interested”.

Because, let’s face it, clicking interested on Facebook to these events is as close as we’ll ever get to going to them.

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Don’t we all

 

Club Nights

Are we really all unique and trendy? Do we adore deep house and acid house and techno and grime and bashment and every other sub genre of music that only the edgiest among us are familiar with? So, according to Facebook, does everyone under 25.

This is a lie.

There are, admittedly, some authentic house fans out there, but not all of us. Contrary to what you might think, the fact that you wear Reebok Classics and click interested on grime events does not make you cool. We all know that, when the time comes, your notifications from Sneaky Pete’s Underground House and Techno event will go unnoticed. You will end up at Why Not boogying to Justin Bieber and you’ll know, deep in your heart of hearts, that you’ve made the right decision.

Also, why do we still click going on every Flare event every Monday? Most of us aren’t promoters and we don’t need updates – it happens every week.

Are you interested in being this trendy?

Are you ‘interested’ in being this trendy?

Talks/Lectures

We’re at Edinburgh, one of the best universities at the world, and we all want our family and friends on Facebook to know that we really are taking advantages of all the opportunities our university has to offer. All the interesting talks that the university puts on: on radicalisation, women in Daesh, investment banking tips.

Even if you don’t go, making people think you did is more important. You have to make sure your Facebook persona is someone intelligent and cultured. Its hard enough making it to your subject lectures – the chances of you going to extra-curricular ones are extremely low.

I'm not going to any of these events

I’m not going to any of these events

Plays

If we ever feel the need to seem cultured and literary, we just click “interested” on the event of a suitably heavy going play at Bedlam Theatre. You could even click “going” if the mood strikes you – no one will ever know that you or I spent the evening binge-watching Netflix. If someone asks you about it the next day you can be safe in the knowledge that they didn’t go either, so bullshitting your way through a discussion on the merits of the production shouldn’t be too hard.

However, saying that you’re going on the event isn’t actually the same as buying a ticket. If you want to reach the dizzy heights of sophistication that you’ve always dreamed of, you actually have to go the play. After all, someone has to go to them. Although it’s not going to be me either.

Festivals

Ooh, are you “interested” in Bestival? SGP? Boomtown? Odds are you won’t really be going to all three. No one realistically has that much money to burn over the summer.

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Yes that is Kanye

Vintage Fairs

There seems to be a shockingly large number of Vintage Sales around at the moment- across the UK. Everyone clicks going because ‘wavey garms’ are a lifestyle and a pretty serious commitment, but in the end no-one goes. Even if we drag ourselves halfway across Edinburgh on a Sunday morning, when we get there, there’s absolutely nothing there.

Balls

In line with the Edinburgh reputation for being ‘yah’, there is an impressive number of balls on each term. This term they include the exclusive Jungle Ball, the Masquerade Ball at Caves, and the endless number of subject Balls. In reality, none of us are going to get tickets, partly because they all sell out and partly because who has £50 lying around? To be honest, we should all spend evenings  spend our subjects, not ceilidh-ing with fellow geographers.

History Society Winter Ball 2015

History Society Winter Ball 2015

There are also those rogue city wide events, when we as a city decide we’re really into something not-too-niche but still cool – whether it be a street food festival or free yoga. We all want to be the kind of person who goes to these events. I mean who doesn’t want to appeat to be the person that spends their weekends doing yoga?