We’re only the 38th hottest uni in UK, according to this league table

And Napier is 11th

A new league table ranking each uni on how hot they think they are has been released — and we think we’re really ugly.

An offensive and probably misguided survey has ranked us the 38th ugliest uni in the UK, placing us behind even Napier at 11th.

Student Money Saver quizzed 1000 respondents across the country to rate their own uni on how fit they thought they were, and somehow Napier, Glasgow Caledonian and the Highlands and Islands ranked as the hottest.


This comprehensive and convincing survey also asked students to rate their access to drugs, funniness and poorness.

We rated ourselves a miserable 2.87/5 on looks, compared to Napier’s 3.14.

At least we were ahead of the mingers at Glasgow, Heriot-Watt and Dundee.


We knew we weren’t going to win any prizes for happiness, and got a below average score of 3.47/5.

The happiest Scottish uni is Strathclyde with 4.33/5 making us the sixth happiest in Scotland.

And which uni has the most people who have, “thrown up and/or urinated all over someone’s house and not cleaned it up”?

Those at Liverpool Hope are the worst and Stirling are the “most disgusting” in Scotland.

Rated low for looks, worse for the shirt

Rated low for looks, worse for the shirt

We’re also the 5th funniest uni in Scotland according to the survey.

Dundee bagged the top spot in the UK, but we did beat Napier on that front.

Don’t let these stats make you even more unsatisfied – we’re low enough on the tables as it is.

Cheer up.