This is exactly which contestant from The Traitors your Durham college would be

The Traitors has taken the country by storm, and Durham students aren’t exempt from this adoration. Perhaps it’s because we relate to being murdered after suffering a questionable new extension policy. Or maybe we love to oogle at the breakfast feast while sitting down for another college brunch. Most likely we just love watching havoc unfold.

Whatever the cause of the fascination may be, the one question left on Durham students’ minds is now undoubtably which contestant they match up to. Well, not to worry, because here’s my rundown of which Traitors contestant your college would be.

Harry – Collingwood

Sporty, charming and not too bad to look at; could anyone represent Collingwood better than Harry? If they hate you, it’s because they ain’t you. Your boyish confidence/arrogance makes you a social magnet and just like any sporting competition, you always win.

Andrew – Grey

There’s more to you than appears obvious at first sight; you’re adaptable to your circumstances (how I miss the marquee) better at sport than people give you credit for, and I must say I wish my college had a shandy society, too. That being said, you’re still quite boring. And just like Andrew was to Harry, you’ll always be in Collingwood’s shadow and never quite catch up.

Meg – St. Aidan’s

Shy, unassuming and until a rewatch I quite frankly must admit I forgot you existed. I can easily imagine Meg sitting in Aidan’s bar, slowly sipping and enjoying a refreshing soft beverage (obviously, not ch*pping it, God forbid).

Tracey – St. Cuthbert’s

This one is going to go down badly on the Bailey. But let’s face the facts, you’re not quite as perceptive or interesting as you think you are. You think you’re “quirky” when in reality you’re much more similar to Hatfield than you’d like to admit. Whether it’s a running or rugby social, you seem to have missed the mark a bit in recent times.

Jaz – Van Mildert

Bless you. You’re extremely underrated and a fun place to be. But whether it comes to boat clubs not burning down, winning Floodlit penalty shootouts against Collingwood or keeping the Derwent block open, you seem to come up short at the last minute, just like Jaz.

Miles – St. John’s

For once, I’m not going to use the slightly tired and overused Jesus card. However, Paul and Harry used you in the same capacity that I used my friends in Johns for free laundry as a fresher.

Evie and Charlie – John Snow and South

I’ll be the first to admit it; I didn’t realise that these two contestants were different people until about halfway through. Equally, what is the difference between John Snow and South? I’m yet to discover any distinctive characteristics about either of these colleges besides from their underwhelming college bars and overrated accommodation.

Paul – Hatfield

If you were a food, you’d be marmite. Hated, adored, but never ignored. Affable and charming to those who love you and everything wrong with Durham to those who don’t. If you weren’t discussing the location of next year’s Palatinalps in the Jimmy’s smoking area, you’d be up in the Traitors tower plotting your next murder. All I can say is that it’s a shame we didn’t see Paul break out in tune to see which role he would’ve played in Hatfield: The Musical.

Ross – Castle

You’re well connected and articulate but ultimately overrated. While Ross thought he would win the game comfortably with his mum, upon your college allocation you thought you would have the archetypical Durham experience, only to end up in a minuscule bed in Moatside with a mould problem.

Diane – Mary’s

You’re a girl’s girl at heart, you’re unproblematic and you never seem to cause any drama throughout Durham. If anyone dislikes you, it’s because they’re scared of your silent authority, much like Diane. Besides, my one failed attempt to complete the Mary’s mile as a fresher seemed slightly reminiscent of Diane’s death march in the challenge.

Mollie – Chad’s

You’re a bizarre one. You seem sweet and fun but equally I know almost nothing about you? Is there more than meets the eye with Chad’s or are you actually just a picturesque and wholesome retreat on the Bailey with a cute bar or is there more than meets the eye?

Mollie – Trevs

I don’t have an awful lot to say about you, but you seem sweet. Even if there isn’t a lot going on beneath the surface you seem like a chilled-out college and your hexagons deserve a bit of love. More importantly, I’d be lying if I said the Trevian T-shirt doesn’t make my night on a bar crawl.

Zack – Jobo

You seem to have a fun and friendly energy but ultimately overestimate your importance as much as Zack. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone from Jobo on a night out? Please, stop referring to yourselves as Butler and maybe you’ll finally live up to your hype.

Ash – Hild Bede

Ash’s early banishment at the hands of her fellow traitors felt much like those applying to hill and bailey colleges being reassigned at the last minute to Hild Bede. While Ash may have welcomed her untimely exit on the premise of seeing her children, being virtually next to McDonald’s and big Tesco isn’t reason enough to make a year 13 jump with joy when finding out their college allocation.

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Featured image via BBC