10 cheeky Duz pick-up lines to guarantee you a Valentine

This does what it says on the tin: these raunchy pick-up lines and one-liners are sure to get you a decent snog in the CCTV booth, or even charm your way into the Durham 70 Per Cent by the time Valentines Day is over.

What are you waiting for? Send to your Billy B or seminar crush ASAP!

1. For those who bleed palatinate

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I’ll take my top off

If you play DU.

An image of you falling for me x

2. For those who love (industrial) action

Girl, you’re more striking than the UCU.

3. For those who love Hatfielders, really

Roses are red,

Hatfield is twatty,

When you walk past,

I stare at your batty.

Average Hatfielder chat

4. For those who love late night action

What’s the difference between you and my summative? One is already shafting me and the other hopefully will tonight.

Wish you’d wreck me like this summative

5. For those who love DU role play

Are you a student-run organisation responsible for sport at Durham University? Because the only place I see my D is in U.

It’s worth it just for the jacket, tbh

6. For those who love a cheeky flash (flood)

Why go to the Half-Moon when I could give you a full one?

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You make me this wet

7. For those who love trying different angles

Are you from Trevelyan? ‘Cause I’ll be Trevelyan to your bedroom tonight…

Love hexagon anyone??

8. For those who are more generous in bed than with their degrees

I’m on track for a 2:1 but you’ll always come first with me.

“Let me finish uni first, love …”

9. For stallions looking for a ride

If you’re a horse girl, let me INVADE you.

Yes, we can use my skinny scarf in the bedroom

10. For those who aren’t picky (everyone’s from Surrey lol)

Roses are red,

Walking church street in a hurry,

I’ll give you a chance,

If you’re from Surrey.

Church Street-crossed lovers?

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