Lloyds is the smart choice on a Wednesday night

Every Wednesday Durham is polarised by a choice that not only determines the course of your night, but also determines your friendship group, and university experience as a whole.

That choice is Lloyds or Shack.

I say, choose booze, choose free entry, choose banging tunes: choose Lloyds.
Instead of following the socials to Loveshack, think of your wallet and pop in next door, saving you £4 before you even hit the bar. That’s enough for two pints of Carlsberg. As evening draws in, the tables are cleared away, ready for the young, hot, and beautiful to cut some shapes.

To sufficiently lubricate yourself try a £4.99 pitcher cocktail – a popular and cheap choice. If you see someone having the time of their lives, it doesn’t mean they’ve dropped some mandy, no, it means they’ve found the hidden gem of Durham drinking: a shot of 63% Wray and Nephew (me neither), for £3.70.

If you need to catch up or just fancy getting apocalyptically wasted – this does the trick. Many a carpet and booth in Lloyds has been defiled as a result. Lloyds is different, cheaper and underrated. One Lloyds waitress told The Tab: “Posh people go to Loveshack.” So if you are landed gentry stick to Shack.Let’s be real, this is Durham (which doesn’t include landed gentry). Lloyds is perfectly respectable. Plus, two weeks off Shack gives you an extra £8 knocking about in your pocket, the equivalent of four to five college pints.

Everyone knows Loveshack as ‘El Classico.’ The final destination on a social. The end game. Yes, with all your friends there, it is fun, don’t get me wrong.

The problem is timing. To avoid a frankly unbearable queue you have to be in around 10.30PM, meaning by 12:30 you’re a knackered shell of a human, leaving to devour your favourite Urban Oven and walk home sticky with sweat.

Admittedly, you could go somewhere else afterwards, but the £4 entry pushes you to stick, not twist. The ‘Zombie’ (Sambuca, gin, vodka + mixer) will cheer you up a bit, but only if you can accept the £6.50 price tag.

Spending a fortune and not feeling merry? Perhaps because they use a weak, herbal vodka (not the paint thinner you’re drinking at pres). So you might be better off with the edgiest drink there: the controversially named ‘gas chamber’ – a sambuca shot lit on fire, drunk after sucking out the fumes with a straw.

Your tribalistic affiliation to college may influence your decision. Aidans and Trevs like Lloyds, whereas the royalty of Collingwood and Hatfield can’t resist Loveshack. Wednesday nights in our city are awesome: just remember to give Lloyds some love too.