BREAKING: Outrageous burglary of Catz bar

All thanks to one student’s good manners


Many jokes start with the line 'A man walks into a bar', but this was no laughing matter. The Tab has learned of a burglary at St Catharine's college, occurring in broad daylight on Saturday 14th April.

After being kindly let in by an unsuspecting student at 4.45pm, the suspect would go on to rob the vending machine and pool table of all their cash. Thankfully no Twixes or billiard balls appear to have been stolen.

As with many Cambridge college facilities, Catz bar requires a college card to enter. The bar is situated in the basement, so it seems possible that the attack was targeted and planned. It is unclear yet how lucrative the vending machine in question was, as we are currently awaiting comment from the Catz porters. In the mean time, an email sent out to the whole college can be read here:

Image may contain: Receipt, Text

You shall not pass (unless you have a Catz cam card)

This crime follows on from another recent episode in central Cambridge, with a man robbing a jewellery shop on Magdalene Street at around 4 pm last month, only to escape on a bicycle, skipping a red light in the process. Meanwhile students at Robinson, Girton and Medwards continue to be mugged on a termly basis each time they are forced to pay their rent to their college overlords. Justice is yet to be done.

Catz has been contacted for a comment. Stay tuned for more updates to follow.