Cambridge cobbles in JEOPARDY

They’re on shaky ground

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A report has suggested that the cobbles in the Senate House Passage should be removed after complaints from cyclists. 

The Greater Cambridge Partnership proposed that removing the cobbles could improve the safety of Cambridge’s roads for cyclists. This comes as part of a scheme to make Cambridge more bike-friendly.

On the other hand, Wendy Blythe of the Cambridge Residents’ Association claims that “The Senate House cobbles are an integral part of Cambridge’s history.” She suggested that Cambridge University alumni would be upset with this significant change to the character of central Cambridge.

Death trap or cultural icon?

Keyboard warriors took to the internet to oppose the changes. Matthew Cartwright came up with this practical solution: “Buy comfier saddles you intellectual nitwits!”.

Robert Everett made a humourous, if not predictable allusion to Cambridge students being snowflakes: “Do these cobbles shake the snow from the flake or the flake from the snow?”

These plans are being considered alongside a suite of other options. A final decision will be made next Tuesday.

The Tab is also pretty sure that removing the cobbles will not deter the hordes of tourists that make getting down Senate House Passage nearly impossible.