The Easter Vac News Column
Catching you up on all the gossip you missed whilst trying to recover from last term.
Bits and bobs
Easter came and went. Things happened. You are now faced with the prospect of returning to the firey pits of Cambridge in exam term and don’t quite know what to do. Although we guarantee you procrastinated by scrolling endlessly through Facebook, so you probably know everything that happened: There was a boat race, it almost was called off for a bomb scare. Brexit happened, then Theresa May decided now was the time to fully unveil her evil side, call an election and subsequently destroy the Labour party.
But you know all of this. Here are some juicy bits you might have missed from the bridge:
First signet rings, now gin…
St John’s strikes again with the ridiculous college customised things you can now buy. Last term, John’s truly out-stereotyped themselves by putting on sale a college signet ring. But clearly custom hoodies, T-shirts and signet rings aren’t enough, with bespoke botanical John’s gin (a tongue-twister if you’ve ever heard one) available. Bizarrely, the gin is £10 more expensive than the signet ring, at a whopping £75. For normal students, that is roughly 6.9 litres of Gordon’s gin when it is on offer in Sainsbury’s.
Grudgebridge gets dark
At a university full of bitter people, are we really surprised that a Grudge page got dark, angst filled, and frankly just plain weird? Now descending into an advertising page for TV show ‘The Fall”, it appeared the page admins had truly had enough with holiday revision and went mad. To be honest, I don’t blame them. Clearly they’ve got a solid taste in music though.. The Fall really were a seminal band of the post punk era.
How do you solve a problem like Malia
Promising to be the most exciting election of the year (yes I wrote this after the General election announcement, and quite frankly it will have a far less inevitable outcome), NUS elections are upon us. Everyone’s favourite antisemite Malia Bouattia is standing once more – despite the fact that she is 30 years old and clearly not a student anymore. Alongside her is candidate Tom Harwood from Durham, who everyone at first thought was a joke candidate and then actually became somewhat credible when faced with the prospect of Malia again.
Finally, there is Shakira Martin, who has the endorsement of Cambridge’s very own King of CUSU. Amatey himself is dipping his toe into the choppy waters of the NUS, running for Vice President for Higher Education.
Rocket launch falls flat
Strawberries and Creem adventurously attempted to do a rocket launch to announce their headliners, but faced technical difficulties along the way. Let’s just hope their artist’s performances don’t go as badly as the launch did…
King of Snapchat Phillip Schofield takes Cam
King of Snapchat, This Morning host, Phillip Scofield, otherwise known as the guy on daytime television that your mum loves, was papped in Cambridge last week, and people couldn’t handle it.
The silver fox snapped various pictures with strangers on Trinity Street and Sidney Street, giving service to his adoring fans. Still, he was a typical tourist, only featuring pictures of Kings (other colleges do exist you know Schof)
Catch us again next week for more news that you don’t need, but want to know. Have a juicy bit of gossip yourself? Drop us a message on our Facebook page or email [email protected]