What to do when someone’s obsessed with you

It’s sad, really.

We all have that one silent stalker on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. You name it: they follow your every move but try not to make themselves known.

Maybe it’s because you got into a better university than them. Maybe it’s because you have better friends than them. Maybe it’s because you have better looks than them. Maybe they’re just jealous.

Jealous of that #nofilter

Whatever the reason, online stalkers can be annoying, even if they aren’t the traditional kind. Here’s how you can deal with them:

1. Block them

Oldie but goldie. Nothing infuriates a stalker more than being blocked. It is simple, quick and easy: just head to the settings tab on any platform.

I’ll block them – and nobody blocks people better than me, believe me – and I’ll make them pay for it

2. Flaunt it

Kind of a contradiction, but this is key. If your life is going well, let them revel in it all. If they’ve got enough time on their hands to focus on your every move – making implicit tweets about you, putting ominous Facebook posts – then clearly there is, well, something wrong with them, but also something about your life that is captivating. Whether that be your success, your friends, your family, your job, your general life – obviously, you have something they want and don’t have. It’s basic psychology, bitch.

Let them see it. Let them focus on it. Because all it is doing is making them more annoyed (and who doesn’t like winding people up?).

Including the people you wish weren’t in your life.

3. Expose them

Controversial and not recommended unless things get serious, expose a stalker for their antics ONLY if you have proof.

However, be wary – if someone has mental health issues, exposing them may cause more harm than good. Sometimes you have to let someone think you aren’t seeing what they are doing just to keep the peace. I know it sounds hard, but you’d rather let them have a little kick in their life than cause something you’ll regret.

4. Report them

Kind of the final step if you are seriously concerned. Remember that if you start to feel worried or scared, reporting the person can be the best option. Seek advice first but remember that your happiness is important. Anyone meddling with it should be dealt with. Yet again, the settings tab on social media platforms allows this to be done.


Reporting = the online equivalent of portering

Overall, you could take many actions, but in reality, is it worth fretting over? The internet is the internet, and unfortunately we can’t always control what people get to see. Generally, locking down your social media is the best option: turning Instagram to private, Facebook to friends only, and Twitter – well, I don’t have Twitter, but I bet there is something similar. Only have friends on Snapchat and turn off message requests on Tumblr.

Stay safe online and make sure you report anything that gets serious.

But if you’ve just got a case of mild spying, enjoy it, find it entertaining, and piss them off.