Swap Restaurant Reviews: Sesame’s

With such a wide range of fine restaurants available to students it’s sometimes difficult to decide upon the best swap location. Sesame isn’t an obvious choice: its not near any clubs […]

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With such a wide range of fine restaurants available to students it’s sometimes difficult to decide upon the best swap location.

Sesame isn’t an obvious choice: its not near any clubs (or anything really), but what it lacks in location it more than makes up in charm and willingness to let students do gross shit.

So it begins...

So it begins…

 

On entrance you are greeted by the obscenely enthusiastic waiter, Michael; your constant guide throughout your swap. He leads you downstairs to a dingy room in the basement that resembles a seedy 1980s nightclub booth; something you could imagine sleazy guys in white suits doing cocaine in.

'Seedy'. Like Sesame seeds. That's a pun

‘Seedy’. Like Sesame seeds. That’s a pun

The florescent neon lights glow dimly, making it difficult to identify people: probably for the best given the embarrassing things you will end up doing later. Suspiciously sticky but comfy sofas line the walls and are definitely the preferred seating option, the alternative being stools that are probably used for interrogations elsewhere. Other than that the only décor is one wall covered in what looks like plastic plates that have been stuck up; the owners are definitely going for a ‘less is more’ vibe.

Discuss the use of minimalism in Swap Restaurants

Discuss the use of minimalism in Swap Restaurants

Michael comes in several times and makes some awkward jokes before bringing you a series of starters. You are treated to unlimited prawn crackers, spring rolls and some weird chicken stuff that is probably best described as ‘un-disgusting’… just. This is followed by enormous quantities of rice,
noodles and other Chinese-y dishes that you won’t recognise (the low lighting may also be for the benefit of your appetite). The ever helpful Michael will always be at hand to bring more food.

When we were there, he hilariously fined anyone who wanted more chicken (for a guy who works exclusively with swaps, he doesn’t really understand fines).

A food fight will probably eventually break out. My friend impressively managed to cut my lip with a spring roll.

An offensive weapon. Apparantly

An offensive weapon. Apparantly

As noodles fly and you drunkenly reflect on how awful your generation is; an old lady  comes and starts cleaning around you.
After you’ve finished with the haute-cuisine they bring out the best bit: the karaoke. It has all your favourite songs to sing horrifically along to with the option of Chinese lyrics if you’re feeling brave.

You're not even going to look this cool

You’re not even going to look this cool

This also comes with the risk of people hitting you in the face with the microphone in their excitement for your musical accompaniment – suffice to say, I got my revenge on my Spring-roll flinging amigo.

If you run out of booze there is a wine shop across the street that has a special deal for students on swaps. The shop owner generally knows the deal you’re looking for already. The wine is just about drinkable but the taste isn’t that big a deal if you’re already one bottle down.

Let's face it, wine all tastes the same anyway

Let’s face it, wine all tastes the same anyway

When it comes time for Cindies Michael packs up any more food you want and gives you some prawn crackers for the road. The journey back is lot less cold, and seems a lot quicker, so the distance is only a problem on the way there.

 

68% – Strong 2:1: Sesame is one of the best venues in Cambridge, not for the food, not the ambiance, but as a place where you and your friends can make terrible drunken decisions.