Pensioner Faeces up to Cambridge Lecturer

Sh*tstorm at Sidney Sussex: Director of Studies Michael Ramage assaulted as he poo-tled along cycle path

architecture guided busway michael ramage Sidney Sussex Trumpington

An OAP did the dung-believable and threw dog muck at a fellow from Sidney Sussex college.

75 year old Susan Currall of Trumpington, Cambridge threw an excrement filled bag–which burst on impact– at Director of Studies for Architecture Michael Ramage on September 12. She then held up the bag so the remaining contents spilled over his clothes, in a protest against Ramage “hurtling” down a dual use path as she walked her dog,

The cycle path where the OAP walks her dog– and no it’s not a poo-dle.

During the incident, which occurred near Shelfort Road, Currall heckled the senior lecturer as ‘a big bully’ and told him ‘go cry to your mummy’ when he warned that he would report her to police.

Currall, who previously worked at the British Embassy in Washington D.C. before retiring, has since being charged for the incident. She was ordered by the magistrates’ court to pay Ramage £25 in dry cleaning costs and £100 in court costs. This is not her first scrape with the law, as she also has two cautions for common assault and a “turd” for criminal damage from 2007.

Describing her ongoing grudge (or should it be sludge) against cyclists, Currall exclaimed: “The council seems to be pursuing a policy that bicycles are king here in Cambridge and have rights over everyone else.”

Her lawyer added that Ramage “was not stopping for her [when] certainly in the olden days, a man on a bike would have got off and let her through.”

Swapping theses for faeces– now that’s not something you do every day.

After hearing the news, a fresher at Sidney Sussex remarked “Fellows must get tired of dealing with the crap that students get up to, so I’m not surprised Mr Ramage decided to take legal action.”