Theatre Guide Dog: Week 8
THE THEATRE GUIDE DOG faces her critics.
“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” -Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
“This column is like Camdram but with unhelpful descriptions and snide remarks” ~ constable table
“I think the Theatre Guide Dog needs to be put down. It’s really ill and it’s making the children sad” ~ vet
“gets ruder and less helpful every week…” ~ this
No Exit – 12th-13th March
Anyone who has spent eight weeks in Cambridge will appreciate the wisdom of a man who declares that “hell is other people”. Also check out the fresh meat on offer with the newly-formed King’s Drama Society and the shiny new King’s Bunker.
King’s Bunker, 8pm £5
Matt and Marc’s Shot in the Dark – 12th March only
For the first time possibly ever, a smoker takes place in pitch blackness – so you can sleep, heckle, or dry hump the performers as never before.
Corpus Playroom, 9.30pm £5-6
Dealer’s Choice – 13th-17th March
This is written by the same guy who wrote Closer. Have I mentioned yet that I fucking love Closer? Cause it’s really good.
Corpus Playroom, 7pm, £5-6
Andromaque – 13th-17th March
The Pembroke Players offer us another Greek for consumption, though this time coated in a layer of French playwright for extra culture.
Pembroke New Cellars, 7pm £5-6
Footloose – 13th-24th March
IT’S HERE! The sparkly-spangled, toe-tapping, fist-munching END OF TERM MUSICAL is here AT LAST!!! This term’s offering is from the 80’s, so if you get really drunk first it might even feel like you’re at a bop.
ADC, 7.45 £8-12
Never Have I Ever – 13th-17th March
Personally, I only ever play this game to show off my fabulous sexual deviancy. I understand that for lesser mortals, however, this phrase usually evokes gut-churning memories of fishy-floppy mediocrity. I know from personal experience that Phil and Jamie are filthy filthy savages, however – though I don’t know if this bodes ill or well for the evening.
Pembroke New Cellars, 9.30pm £4-5
The Music Box – 13th-17th March
Your final chance to fill up on some good old homemade, student-written theatre before fucking off into your tragic, exam-ridden shell of an existence.
Corpus Playroom, 9.30pm £5-6
Footlights Smoker – 13th March only
The last smoker of term, and the first to feature the freshly-picked brand-spanking-new still-screaming-from-the-womb Footlights Committee. It’s long sold out, though, so you’ll have to hang out in the bar and work out from there who you’re going to suck up to for the coming year instead.
ADC, 11pm £6-7
Odds and Ends – 14th-17th March
This won the confusingly-named Harry Porter Prize for comedy writing, so it’s supposed to be really funny. Of course Joey Batey of “guns-goats-and-girls” fame won this year, so no doubt it’ll be great.
ADC, 11pm £4-6