The Theatre Guide Dog Awards Michaelmas 2011
THE THEATRE GUIDE DOG decides it’s time for giving some awards to some plays.
Thesps, audience, comments-cunts, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Cam-theatre, not to praise it.
The evil that shows do live after them;
The good is often interred with the curtain-close.
But hey, everyone loves goodies. And I’ve been informed some of you have worked very, very hard this term, so I’ll allow it. And if there’s any faction of Cambridge society which needs more back-patting and flattery, it’s the theatre scene, right?
Best Show
We’ll start nice and easy, shall we? I know some of you are a little slow now term’s over. Some of you are also just a little slow. But that’s OK.
A Night with Joe Rubini and the Spooks
Worst Slating
For the most schadenfreude proffered from an online piece of writing since 16 May 2011.
Worst Response to a Review
I know how much you like crying about reviews. Some of you do it so hard/loudly/disgustingly I thought you even deserved a prize for it. Sort of.
The Spirit of Theatre Award
A shiny new award, for those of you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed enough to pay attention. It isn’t always the flashiest or the expensive-est or the loudest shows which show the most cojones. The most ambition. The most innovation. The most spirit. It isn’t even always the most good shows. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. (I do, I’m just not telling you. Work it out yourselves.)
Most Incorrect Review
Think you can do our job better than us, you scum of the comments section? Well you can’t. But we’ll let you feebly attempt to get one back at us, whether it be for our blazing criticism or our swashbuckling style – whichever you found yourself least able to handle. Your turn to try and make one of us cry. Go on, I dare you.
Voting closes on Friday 16th December at midnight. Results will be announced the following day. Oh. And uh, Merry Christmas I guess.
Hydro Flask
Cambridge University found to carry out highest number of animal procedures
Anna MardlingThe number of procedures carried out has nearly doubled since 2019
‘Eyesore’ Prince Philip statue removed from Cambridge centre after breaching planning rules
Eleanor WallaceThe controversial Cambridge Don statue has been taken down after a Public Inquiry
Cambridge vice-chancellor gives annual address at Senate House
The vice-chancellor highlighted the university’s national importance and student support offering in her speech
Religious icon stolen from Cambridge College Chapel
April O'NeillThe artwork was taken from the Chapel of Magdalene College between the 24th and 25th September
Builder finds students’ lost items from 1920s behind Cambridge college fireplace
Postcards, an invitation and lists of chapel services were found during renovations of Christ’s College
The good, the bad and the sink-less: A ranking of my dorms as a Cambridge student
Julia SzaniszloThe good, the bad, the sink-less – all my rooms I have had at Cambridge
Cambridge Uni denies China ties after ambassador urges students to ‘serve the motherland’
The comment came during the Ambassador’s visit to the university on September 12th
Do not fear, freshers: 10 common misconceptions about Cambridge University
Iris RogersBe not afraid, Cam isn’t scary x
Former Cambridge medicine student jailed for sexual offences related to children
25-year-old Lorcan Elliott admitted to 22 offences
‘You don’t seem to be able to write’: Savage comments from Cambridge uni supervisors
Because we needed a sequel x
Outside the Cambridge bubble: What to do when you miss Cambridge
From doing everything to doing nothing at all
Absolutely everything you need to bring as a fresher starting at Cambridge University
Nobody told me I’d need to pack black tie
Cambridge JSO student activist sentenced to four years in same jail as killer Lucy Letby
22-year-old Cressida Gethin was jailed for disruption caused on the M25
Cambridge students: It’s okay not to get a first
This is an announcement for all of you and your imposter syndrome
Cambridge student who suddenly died from undiagnosed condition awarded degree after death
Phoebe KowhaiClarissa Nicholls is described as ‘dedicated, determined and resilient’
Cambridge University considers ending collaboration with Barclays and Lloyds
Leah WhitingLeaked documents revealed the university has concerns over the banks’ links to fossil fuels
Cambridge students warned university graduations may be disrupted by pro-Palestine protestors
This comes after ‘blood red’ paint was thrown on Senate House earlier this week
Explosive MAFS dinner party causes carnage as TWO brides almost quit and Caspar smashes set
Ellie RingThis is actually insane
From Liam Payne to Harry Styles: The One Direction solo careers ranked
Harrison BrocklehurstMassive highs and abysmal lows
MAFS UK groom Stephen is a former Mormon, here’s how old he was when he had his kids
He split with his partner when he was 25 after and decided to leave the Mormon Church
Red flag alert! Inside Stephen’s chaotic Instagram before going on Love Is Blind
Sofia AiraHe has lived so many lives
YouTuber Yung Filly has been charged with rape: Here’s what we know and what’s happening
Hayley SoenA court has been presented with images of a woman’s injuries
The 10 reality TV stars who have made the most money from their business side quests
Claudia CoxThe Made in Chelsea to entrepreneur pipeline is strong
Brittany and Leo finally reveal where they stand now after breaking off Love Is Blind engagement
Brittany has been sharing memes about Leo on Instagram
Stephen defends cheating and proves he really did get a sleep test done on Love Is Blind
He also joked that he should really ‘put a password’ on his phone in future
Um, Emma and Nicole from Selling Sunset are STILL feuding over whether Emma dated a married man
Apparently someone ‘destroyed’ and ‘terrified’ Nicole’s friend after an unaired scene from season eight
Hannah reveals the ‘edit’ of her MAFS honeymoon completely distorted the real timeline
‘I’m so confused and I was there, got whiplash from that edit’
Monica from Love Is Blind has finally exposed what was in Stephen’s ‘dirty kink’ texts
Do I even want to know?
MAFS UK producers forced to take action against Richelle after she leaked huge spoiler
Both her Instagram and the official MAFS UK comments have been disabled to stop the leak
Anne Hathaway apologises to journalist after an interview of her being ‘awful’ goes viral
It’s the same journalist who exposed the viral rude Blake Lively interview!?
Everyone is convinced there used to be a seahorse emoji, let’s debunk whether it ever existed
No because this has me doubting everything
Love Is Blind creator reveals what Monica really found in Stephen’s messages off camera
His ‘kinky’ and ‘disgusting’ messages to another woman got him axed from the show
‘You dropped the house on me’: JLo opens up on Ben Affleck divorce for the first time
‘I should have learned it two or three times ago’
Art classes and getting married: What prison life is like for Lyle and Erik Menendez
Erik teaches meditation and has worked with terminally ill patients
All the cosmetic surgery the MAFS UK 2024 cast have had done and how much it cost them
From veneers to liposuction, they’ve had a wide range of procedures
Plan a day at uni and we’ll tell you which course you should actually be studying
Mia BladonMaybe business studies wasn’t the best idea x
The Substance is a wild film, but the only thing wilder are these memes about it
‘Demi Moore’s coat in The Substance is the best performance of a coat since JLo’s in Hustlers’
Inside the busy life of MAFS UK contestant and high-achieving girl boss Hannah Norburn
She’s sure packed a lot in at the age of 33