Stuck for what to ask Father Christmas for this year? Here are seven must-haves for every Bristol girl

Ho ho ho(e), everyone has started arguing about whether to put the heating on which can mean only one thing, it’s Christmas baby.

If you don’t fancy getting rose-scented body wash from your grandma for the fifth year in a row then look no further, for The Bristol Tab has put together the comprehensive Christmas list for every Bristol girl.

1. Miniature scarf that provides fuck all warmth

Unless you’ve been living under a rock then you would have noticed the invasion of tiny scarves around campus. With zero points for practicality but 100 for steeze, the miniature scarf must be a wardrobe staple if you want to solidify your status as a true Bristol girl. The thinner the better.

2. Over-ear headphones

If the deafening silence of the ASS isn’t enough for you, be cheeky this year and pop some AirPods Max on your Christmas list. Although coming in at over 500 Great British Pounds, us Bristol students are all too familiar with getting mugged off so this should be no bother.

3. Pret subscription

Are you sick of the Senate coffee queue? Not a fan of extortionate prices of Two Ways? Then a Pret subscription is the present for you. Although the trek down to Wills Library after a 9am seems abhorrent, the sweet reward of an oat flat white that is basically free makes it all worth it.

4. Ket spoon

Practical, stylish and classy, a ket spoon is an absolute must have if you want to liven up your Wednesdays and really embody the Skins aesthetic that you brag to your home mates about.

Bonus points if you tell your mum you’ve just really taking a liking to antique China tea sets.

5. Doc Martens

No trip to Woodland Road is complete without spotting at least five pairs of chunky Doc Martens. If you have ambitions of being featured on UoBfits then you must absolutely ask Santa to pop down to Cabot and treat you to some stompers.

6. Afghan coat

Haven’t you heard? Looking like you hand sheared a sheep is in, darling. Hopefully Father Christmas has a Depop account and an absence self-respect so won’t mind dropping serious p for you look like a highland shepherd.

7. Anything fur

To look like you religiously attend the ski trip and feature regularly on UBSC’s insta then you need to have at least one fur item. Gloves at a minimum, but preferably a headband too. It better be faux or else Santa’s reindeers won’t deliver it.

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