If you ride a Voi around Bristol you will identify with one of these personality types
We all know a Karen on wheels…
“Riding a Voi scooter is the perfect way to get around the city, while sparing it from both noise and pollution” according to the Voi website. Surely the creators at Voi must have known that scattering electric scooters across a city full of students was only going to bring out the child within us all.
Vois are the new favoured method of transport for many in Bristol, since the only legal activity for the last three months has been going on walks and, as scenic as it is, I’m not sure if I have another trip to the suspension bridge viewing point left in me.
Some students are committed to the Voi lifestyle and, naturally, have made it part of their personality. If you ride a Voi, you will most definitely fall into one of these categories.
Just another UoB student pretending to be from “ends” when they are actually from the home counties. Your name is literally Hugo, stop it. Bonus points if they’re also shamelessly blaring drill through their speaker.
Most likely to spot them: Mysteriously on the move alone in a full tracksuit
Basically 80% of the female UoB population. Probably from Surrey, and dressed in a full urban outfitters get-up, the type that will unironically say “rah” when she can’t control the scooter. Only here to collect footage so they can make a TikTok out of the excursion, but it’ll probably get at least 18k likes to be fair.
Most likely to spot them: In clusters at Voi parking spots taking a lifetime to unscrew the phone holder to the size of their IPhone 11+.
Boys who give you an instant ick
Something quite jarring about boys stood so upright on scooters. Please just pretend to skate instead. If I happen to see my latest link on a Voi (unless I am right there with him of course) I will send him straight in the bin.
Most likely to spot them: In a conVoi going down Whiteladies road *ick intensifies*.
Couples that Voi together stay together. If my future doesn’t look like this, I don’t want it. Guy and gal, in a Titanic-esque embrace while committing the crime of double-riding. Could there be a more wholesome date? You just know these guys are going to live happily ever after.
Most likely to spot them: Clifton village, being the main characters, living their modern day fairy-tale.
The ‘will always mention if they take a Voi anywhere’ person
Oh, wait you’ve driven a Voi? As if they didn’t broadcast it all over their Instagram and snapchat stories. They definitely have a membership and also definitely are the kind of person to screenshot their runs on Strava to then post on Instagram.
Most likely to spot them: Somewhere with a good view so that the story they post will look really really cool.
The horrendous driver
Bike lane? No thanks, just the middle of the road for these guys. Has absolutely no knowledge of the Highway Code and doesn’t care about it either. Probably took seven attempts to pass their driving theory test. A menace to society. The chances that they’re intoxicated are moderate to high.
This type of driver does not bode well with the Karens (see below).
Most likely to spot them: Absolutely belting it down park street
Karens on wheels
The kind of driver that issued a complaint to Voi HQ to get them to add indicators and break lights to the scooters. They live, love, laugh the rules of the road, and seeing as there are no coffee shops open, and they can’t spend their time persecuting minimum wage workers, they will instead direct their wrath onto anyone not wearing a helmet. Consider this a warning.
Most likely to spot them: Doing a test circuit in a car park to “get the hang of it” before setting off.
People that Voi to the library
Nerds but actually sound. The kind of person that carries the entire breakout room in online seminars and will send you their notes. These guys genuinely ride Vois for the environmentally friendly aspect and carry a tote bag and reusable coffee cup. Good for them.
Most likely to spot them: Never far from the ASS
The ‘Cheeky Voi’ person
These people usually walk to most of the places they need to go and see getting a Voi as a novelty. They are known within their group of friends for poor time management, and only Voi if they are late for something or can’t be bothered to walk all the way up Whiteladies to The Downs.
Most likely to spot them: Illegally double riding with their other friend who is also late
Victims of peer pressure
Didn’t choose to be there, but had simply been persuaded by the majority. Is petrified the entire time. They can kit themselves out in helmet, knee and elbow pads all they like but no amount of safety equipment will protect them from the hooliganism of the horrendous drivers.
Most likely to spot them: Probably wheeling the scooter along the pavement.