What your UoB Valentine’s club night says about the relationship you’re looking for

Good luck if you got Motion


Lizard Lounge – The wholesome couple

Your eyes lock across the room while blasting Mr Brightside at the top of your lungs. Hyped on toffee vodka and jaeger bombs, you’re looking for the man/girl of your dreams to go for endless "drinks with this one" and plaster the evidence across your Instagram.

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Where dreams are made of

Gravity – The sports couple

It’s Wednesday night. It’s a bit hot and sweaty, but not to worry, that just enhances the shine on your rock hard abs that you know will make the netball girls fall for you. Little substance but at least you’ll be the "fit" couple that everyone fancies.

Lakota – The scatty couple

You just want someone to go DnB nights and share keys with. You bonded over a shared love for techno and wavy garms and would never be caught dead in a triangle club. Romantic nights in are spent getting waved, sharing your love for each other, which will inevitably be forgotten.

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Your relationship and the club closing will end in heartbreak

Mbargos – The one night stand

Here for a good time, not a long time. At Bargs you’ll never find an everlasting love, but at least you’ll wake up satisfied. You’ll find them stumbling across the road from Brass Pig and the rest is lost in a blur of short-lived passion.

Motion – Staying single

You can never find anyone, not even your friends. You’ll spend too much time on the phone looking for your mates you’ll never have time to pull. The only hope you’ll have is that stranger you’ll link up with to split the taxi back to Stoke Bishop.

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