I messaged all my Tinder matches about the Tory election manifesto

It can be hard to find love at uni if you’re a Tory. In a place where Moet Marxists and prosecco Peronists rule the roost, meeting a like minded individual interested in helping hard working families can be something of a challenge.

The announcement of a snap election therefore offered me the perfect excuse to solve this conundrum by investigating how many of our peers intend to vote next month. So looking for my own strong and stable man, I ventured into the murky world of Tinder to seek out what 18-24 year old single guys in my area thought of Theresa May’s plans for moderate deficit reduction…

The results of this little experiment of mine were quite worrying, with a couple of guys not even knowing what a manifesto is and some not bothering to vote next month. I am not saying I know everything about the upcoming election and have researched every aspect of it deeply but I am passionate that everyone who is able to vote and use their voice should do so, no matter what allegiance (unless it’s the SNP).

The Kama Sutra for Tory girls

Sam

Sam was hugely passionate about this subject, letting me know his thoughts on the new manifesto just a day or so after it came out. He is one of the few boys below that seems to have truly researched it and therefore wins my respect for that. Now I don’t mean to vote shame him but I think he is the first Englishman- or Scot, come to that- who wants to vote for the blood-thirsty Nicola Sturgeon. However, I applaud his enthusiasm for the topic and the fact that he is voting at all. Oh and I have to thank him for his final question which reminded me that I am indeed asking Tinder boys for their political opinions…

Just normal posh, soz m9

Anthony

Anthony also seemed interested in my question although his reply is rather more brief than that of Sam. I was semi shocked to find a fellow Conservative in this experiment given the left wing bent of most university students. Apparently both of us voting for the same party was enough for lovely Anthony to ask me for a drink – better than Sam’s final question I guess.

Tory on the streets, liberal in the sheets

Ben

Ben rather pissed me off with his laissez-faire attitude and his lack of any interest whatsoever in the outcome of next month. His first few responses are almost a joke which show how little he knew about what I was asking. And the second screenshot sums up a slight problem with my generation, with young people feeling like their voice doesn’t matter at all- possibly due to a lack of faith in the system or a flaw in the system itself. A flatmate was trying to explain to me why young people, or any people, decide against voting and to be honest I cannot see how not taking part in the political system which is in place is going to get your voice heard at all and thus change anything.

Voting? Ain’t nobody got time for dat

It is bizarre to me that someone would choose not to use their vote. Doesn’t take much research to find out which party your views align with the most. The link I sent him is a quiz where you answer a fair amount of questions and at the end it tells you which party you would most affiliate with. And then after having me tell him exactly how I fell about his lack of interest he still proceeded, in classic fuckboy style, to ask for sex. Go Tinder!

“Spontaneous car sex”

Igor

And then there is Igor. Igor straight up gives no shits about the future of our country.

Apathetic teens with a nihilistic theme

Peter

Peter has a very common approach of not actually doing much research himself (not knowing what a manifesto is) and simply relying on the opinions of his parents. Not the end of the world but could do better, come on Peter. At least he didn’t ask for a hook up afterwards.

Your parents would be proud hun

Charles

Now given that Ben and Igor were the first two to reply to my questions, you’ll understand my relief when Charles said that he was indeed voting next month. With a name like Charles he must be Tory. Champagne all round!

When he says he’ll be voting on June 8th

So, looks like my quest to find a Tory lover to deliver a hard Brexit was over. Should I go on a date with him? Let’s see how the results go in two weeks time- hopefully there’ll be no electile dysfunction!